May 052004
 
Authors: Gabriel Dance

As NBC’s Godzilla has one day left until extinction, I am left

to wonder what is to become of our good friends. Quirky Chandler,

spacy Phoebe, oblivious Joey… oh really who am I kidding. If it

were last season maybe I’d care, but after struggling through this

season’s ridiculous offerings I have truly lost any interest in the

sentimental love-fest that “Friends” has decided to end with.

I guess going out with style – and laughs – is out of the

question.

Everything is pretty much wrapped up actually. Monica and

Chandler are married and moving. Phoebe is married. Joey is taking

off in his own direction (“Joey” will be the only spin-off of the

series). And Ross and Rachel are, well, they’re, um, incredibly

lame.

I bet many of you are thinking right now, “Oh man, this guy is

such a hater. He is seriously sipping on some haterade. Oh geez,

the nerve to rip on ‘Friends.’ I just love ‘Friends.’ Remember when

Chandler and Joey owned the duck? That was great!”

Stop right there. You’re absolutely right. That was great.

“Friends” has been a great show. I have watched it fairly

loyally now for 10 seasons and it continues to provide me with

enjoyment to this day. Though nowadays the laughs come from

alternating reruns with “Seinfeld,” and not on Thursday nights.

I think the cast is one of the most talented to have worked

together on screen, especially considering they each bring six

different personalities to the table. The way in which they

interact and play off each other reminds me of my own group of

friends, and this is most likely true with a majority of their

audience. Situations they’ve been in, including Chandler’s “nubbin”

and Ross’ “we were on a break,” have lightened my days, both the

first time I saw them, and the many more times on syndicated TV.

And I could go on about Rachel for pages; but instead, I’ll just

think about her for a couple seconds and that should be

gratification enough.

It seems though, that this 10th season must be what happens when

five of six friends decide, “You know, let’s not live on a TV set

anymore.” But then the sixth friend goes, “Guys come on, let’s

discuss this over a sandwich, and guess what? We’ll make at least a

cool million per episode.”

So this is what we’re stuck with. Phoebe got married in a

not-funny snow festival. Chandler and Monica are adopting a child,

which although it has comical points such as the baby’s father

perhaps having been a convict, is overall quite dull. And the big

cliffhanger: Ross and Rachel.

In the end, what does it matter? Either Ross goes to Paris with

Rachel and learns the French words for “lesbian” and “I love

dinosaurs, does anybody care?” Or Rachel stays in the United States

with Ross and tries to explain to her daughter Emma why she only

has one mother and a father while her half-brother Ben has two

mommies and one daddy. Or Rachel moves to Paris and lives happily,

while Ross, left in New York, buries himself amongst the bones he

studies. In the end, it’s all the same: over.

But don’t let this last season leave a bitter taste on your

palette. Let’s just chalk it up to overstaying one’s welcome.

Perhaps NBC should have followed the lead of HBO and let “Friends”

go out when they were at the top of the game, just as “Sex and the

City” did a couple months ago. And just as “Seinfeld” will live

forever in syndication, “Friends” will follow.

Anyway, NBC should have given me that $10 million an episode,

and-multiplied by the 18 episodes included in this last season –

with my $180 million dollars I would have been able to buy the

Collegian newsroom a couple windows, a parking lot for CSU,

invisible ink for the College Republicans, and a one-way ticket to

UNC Chapel Hill. I’m out.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

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