The weekend started off with innocent intentions. They were just
trying to catch a few final days of snowboarding before the snow
disappeared for the season. But their benevolent agenda took a
drastic turn toward possible incarceration when fate had them cross
paths with an attractive waitress at a mountain restaurant.
“The lady situation was as dry as the Sahara,” said Angelo
Cuomo, a junior economics major. “We had this amazing vacation
house and the hot springs nearby, but we had no women to seduce, or
at least try to seduce.”
The group ran a quick search through Glenwood Springs but came
up empty-handed and decided to get some dinner together.
Much to Angelo’s delight, one of the workers at the restaurant
happened to be a gorgeous young woman.
“This girl was smoking,'” Cuomo said. “Every one of us was
staring and trying to get her attention. We were definitely being
more lame than smooth.”
Desperation has a pungent stench; Cuomo and company reeked of it
that evening. Luckily, they still had one trick up their
“She was a water girl so we all just kept downing our waters,”
Cuomo said. “She would come back and fill the glasses and each
time, we would try hitting on her again.”
Determined to take this beauty to the hot springs, Cuomo stepped
up to the plate and delivered line after line to the water girl and
finally won her over.
“Most girls would have just blown us off for being so immature
… she was loving it and she was flirting back with us. I felt all
confident and proud of myself,” Cuomo said.
Despite his best efforts, however, Cuomo never got the water
girl to agree to come with him to the springs.
In a last-ditch attempt, he pulled the classic move of leaving
his name and number on the ticket, which included the
well-thought-out line of, “Let’s hang out.”
“I was hoping she’d call back that night but it never happened,”
But it was a blessing in disguise that Cuomo never had his way
that evening. When the girl finally did call him back, a week
later, she admitted to Cuomo’s answering machine that she wanted to
see him again and also that she was 16 years old.
“I can’t believe we spent so much effort trying to hit on this
girl who was probably still excited about getting her driver’s
license,” Cuomo said. “I’m glad her parents couldn’t see us.”
The moral of this is that just because a girl is smokin’ that
doesn’t mean she’s 18. Watch out for the jailbait.