We’re not fond of Top 10 lists, or lists of any kind for that
matter (including any and all dean’s lists), but with this being
draft weekend we couldn’t resist. So here it is, our Top 10 of the
worst phrases fans will hear on draft day:
10. His stock has gone up/down – Really? Is that according to
NASDAQ or Dow Jones? And are we in a bear or bull market? Chicago
seems to have a little of both.
11. (Name of athlete) really fits a need for (name of team) –
Well that is a surprise. We figured a team would draft a guy at a
position where it’s stacked so as to spend millions to let him sit
on the bench for a season or two.
12. This is a pick for the future – Yes. That is the idea when
13. This could be a boom or bust pick – Because, you know,
drafting guys who have never played at a professional level before
is always risk-free.
14. This guy fills a lot of holes for us – Sorry, but unless
he’s playing both sides of the ball and doing a little kicking on
the side, he’s probably not filling more than one hole.
15. References to Mel Kiper Jr.’s hair – The ESPN draft day
crew’s two dozen or so references about Kiper’s hair during the
first round alone are almost enough to drive us to watching the NBA
playoffs … almost.
16. This guy is a physical specimen – We know what they’re
trying to say here, we just don’t know why they use those words to
17. This is a selection of need – As opposed to a selection for
complete diversion and gusto.
18. He fits well into (team’s) system – Although said team tried
its hardest to pick a guy who would clash with its system.
19. He possesses all the intangibles – And as we all know
possession of intangibles wins football games.
20. This guy has a tremendous upside – First, “tremendous” must
always accompany “upside”; and if a guy doesn’t have an “upside,”
is he even in the draft?