Top 10 worst draft phrases

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Apr 222004
 
Authors: Josh Pilkington

We’re not fond of Top 10 lists, or lists of any kind for that

matter (including any and all dean’s lists), but with this being

draft weekend we couldn’t resist. So here it is, our Top 10 of the

worst phrases fans will hear on draft day:

10. His stock has gone up/down – Really? Is that according to

NASDAQ or Dow Jones? And are we in a bear or bull market? Chicago

seems to have a little of both.

11. (Name of athlete) really fits a need for (name of team) –

Well that is a surprise. We figured a team would draft a guy at a

position where it’s stacked so as to spend millions to let him sit

on the bench for a season or two.

12. This is a pick for the future – Yes. That is the idea when

drafting prospects.

13. This could be a boom or bust pick – Because, you know,

drafting guys who have never played at a professional level before

is always risk-free.

14. This guy fills a lot of holes for us – Sorry, but unless

he’s playing both sides of the ball and doing a little kicking on

the side, he’s probably not filling more than one hole.

15. References to Mel Kiper Jr.’s hair – The ESPN draft day

crew’s two dozen or so references about Kiper’s hair during the

first round alone are almost enough to drive us to watching the NBA

playoffs … almost.

16. This guy is a physical specimen – We know what they’re

trying to say here, we just don’t know why they use those words to

say it.

17. This is a selection of need – As opposed to a selection for

complete diversion and gusto.

18. He fits well into (team’s) system – Although said team tried

its hardest to pick a guy who would clash with its system.

19. He possesses all the intangibles – And as we all know

possession of intangibles wins football games.

20. This guy has a tremendous upside – First, “tremendous” must

always accompany “upside”; and if a guy doesn’t have an “upside,”

is he even in the draft?

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