Apr 072004
Authors: Eric Klamper

With more than 5,000 rides in its first semester of operation

and an even greater volume anticipated for the future, RamRide

contributes to the general safety of CSU’s students as well as

contributing a good laugh for those who find time to volunteer to


“I’m glad to see that so many students are taking advantage of

this program,” said Ben Goldstein, a senior political science major

and ASCSU’s director of student services. “RamRide offers people a

safe ride home and as a driver or navigator, you get to see a lot

of interesting things.”

Halloween night was especially memorable for RamRide drivers due

the unique appearances of the passengers.

“When people call for a ride, we ask them to describe what they

look like so it’s easier to find them,” Goldstein said. “On

Halloween, this one girl simply said, ‘I’m a slut tonight,’ so we

had to drive around looking for someone fitting that


RamRide also came to the aid of a confused Winnie the Pooh, a

drunken Chipotle Burrito and countless other graceless fools,

aimlessly attempting to track their way homeward that evening. But

don’t be fooled into thinking that the hilarity only happens with

costumes present; funny incidents occur all the time.

“It was our last call of the night,” said Todd Gaines, senior

soil and crop science major. “We picked up these six guys and they

were really messed up. Right when we started moving, I looked back

and saw that this guy was strangling his friend with a seatbelt.

They were all wrestling each other in the back. When we got to the

main roads, they decided to roll down the windows and started

cursing at other cars … I was so glad when we finally got them

home and it was just in time. The second they stepped out of the

van, they got sick right there in the street.”

And it’s not only the men of CSU now forever ingrained in

unclouded memory banks of our unspoiled RamRide operators. The

ladies can get a little crazy, too.

“We drove this car full of girls back to their home,” said Tom

Lesavage, senior marketing major. “They must have felt the urge to

tip us excessively because they took out all this cash from their

purses. They had been out drinking and they were laughing and

dancing the whole car ride home. They were in a generous mood I

guess because when we parked, they were throwing all these $20

bills up at us like it was nothing. We aren’t supposed to accept

any money so I gave it all back. I’m sure that those girls would

have been upset if they realized, the next day, that they had

dropped all that money trying to pay for their free ride home.”

Moments that Mom and Dad wouldn’t approve of aren’t the only

things that the back seats of RamRide have spawned. Sometimes those

Febreeze-scented vans act as a meeting place for romance.

“We have one volunteer who met her boyfriend one night while

driving. She picked up this guy when he needed RamRide and they’ve

been together since then,” Goldstein said.

Looks like the intelligence to avoid the dreaded DUI landed that

man a keeper, but other men have attempted to use RamRide as a

channel of romantic promise with less rewarding outcomes.

“Sometimes guys will call in for a ride and end up trying to hit

on our phone operators,” Goldstein said. “There was one guy who

called back like six times just trying to keep talking with the

operator. He was making up fake excuses to keep calling.”

Not all attempts of RamRide commuters trying to see a little

action have been thwarted. The occasional quick peak at some

bizarre exhibitionism has been known to either enhance or horrify a

few lucky passengers.

“We once had this freshman guy as a navigator,” said Katie

Clausen, junior business management major. “He was a pretty

innocent kid … this woman in the back was wearing this really

short skirt and nothing underneath it. When he leaned over the seat

to have her sign the waiver, he got a view that he wasn’t prepared


Crotch shots aren’t the most shocking scene to have befallen a

RamRide vehicle. One carload became witnesses to a sight that left

very little to the imagination.

“We picked up these three guys way out by Overland one night at

like 3 a.m.,” said Audrey Fisher, a junior English education major.

“Out in the middle of nowhere, we passed this couple who were

having sex in plain view of everyone. They were just laying there

right on the sidewalk. We passed them so quick that we weren’t sure

if we had really seen what we thought we saw. The guys in the back

were laughing their asses off and they were yelling for us to go

back so we could look again. They talked our driver into circling

around the block for another look. When we did, the guys were all

freaking out and yelling. They were really happy about seeing that

I guess. They probably thought that it was the best ride home


No wonder RamRide is being used by so many. The ride home just

may be the most memorable part of the night. So don’t risk driving

around when you’re in need of a safe ride because the good folks

with the RamRide program are willing and able to get you home in

one piece. Plus, they’ll even listen to the impaired gibberish that

pours from your mouth without judging you too harshly.

RamRide operates every Friday and Saturday from 10 p.m. to 3

a.m. and picks up an average of 200 passengers each night free of

charge. To use RamRide, call 491-3333 and be sure that one person

in the vehicle is a CSU student with student ID.

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