Upon catching last week’s episode of ESPN’s reality-show-attempt
“Dream Job,” I found myself to be very intrigued.
Initially, my response was one of fear.
Why, dear God, would my beloved Mecca of athletics participate
in the reality show epidemic?
Do they not understand that shows like “Survivor” and “Big
Brother” and “My Big Fat Obnoxious Fianc�e” make up all that
is the creativity-sucking, brain-damage causing, chew my dreams up
and spit them onto the Ebola-filled diary of complete lack of
reality that is our present-day plague?
No “reality” show has ever given me a glimpse of real life.
When am I ever going to be on an island with a handful of naked
fat men playing relay games or having bug-eating contests?
When will I ever live with five beautiful college students and
“work” a gloriously fantastic job like touring Europe and writing a
friggin’ blurb about it?
When will I ever have 20 or so gorgeous women drooling over me,
only to know I must slowly eliminate them at a rose ceremony?
The answer to all these: Never. Television feeds us a desired
life that we will never have. But, then I snapped out of my
delusional rant and watched the show.
These guys had to work. Go out get interviews, put together a
story, write a script and answer off-the-cuff questions about
current sports issues.
Sure, I think the network has tried to keep certain figures in
the game for entertainment purposes, i.e. the “if Jesus were a
hippie” look-alike, but he is talented and funny.
Sure, it has a celebrity panel of judges, but they critique on
journalistic professionalism. They don’t speak in a British accent
and try their latest cut-down. They dissect the contestant’s
ability to work for ESPN.
To be fair, will America ever vote on whether I get an on-air
job? I hope not, but the screening and interviewing process they go
through is closer to reality than any other show.
I eventually came to the conclusion that ESPN is still the
Chipotle to all other TV soft tacos. They’re capitalizing off of
our fantasy-salivating minds while still not allowing a random Joe
sportscaster to usurp the SportsCenter desk.