I have something to confess…I love Shaquille O’Neal!
As the 53rd All-Star game tipped off this weekend it dawned on
me that Shaq is one cool dude.
By nature, I’m a hugger. I like to hug, I do. Now, how great
would it be to wrap your arms around the Diesel and bury your face
in his ribs? Pretty stinkin’ great.
Shaq is like the friend everyone wants to have. While it may not
be blood, I think we are all connected to “The Daddy” somehow. This
linkage drastically increases my chances of huggin’ Shaq
Six degrees of Kevin Bacon move over, I’m proposing six degrees
To support my argument I’ll link three of the most unexpected
people, from all walks of life, to the man himself.
John Teten: 1) I know my Dad, thankfully, and when my Pops was
growing up in the NYC he lived one floor above a dude named (2) Lew
Alcindor. Lew was 10 years older than my Dad so whenever he and his
buddies would get picked on they’d run screaming, “Big Lew, Big
Lew.” Lew would come quickly to rescue the frightened sandbox gang.
Well, Lew grew up and converted to Islam and changed his name to
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. He played basketball for a few years and was
actually pretty decent. 3) In 1996 Kareem was named one of the
NBA’s 50 greatest players, as was Shaq. And just think that was
only three degrees.
Yes, Shaquille is even linked to the great actor of the 50s.
Shaq played Neon Bodeaux in “Blue Chips,” which was a great movie
by the way. 1) Nick Nolte played coach Pete Bell in that movie, he
punted a ball into the stands and he caved to the pressures of D-1
recruiting – no word on if he used strippers. 2) Nolte starred in a
Martin Scorsese film “Cape Fear.” 3) Scorsese also directed “The
Color of Money,” with a hot, young Tom Cruise and an also hot, but
older Paul Newman. 4) Now, one of Newman’s first big hits was in
“Exodus.” A film directed by Otto Promlinger. Yes kids, I did just
say Otto Promlinger. 5) Promlinger directed “Anatomy of a Murder,”
in 1959, which starred Jimmy Stewart.
Surely, Shaq isn’t connected to the Yan-dog, or is he? 1) Well,
in 1998-1999 Shaq was joined on the Lakers by Dennis Rodman. 2) The
Worm had a really awkward relationship with Tara Patrick, also
known as Carmen Electra. 3) She now has a really awkward marriage
to weirdo Dave Navarro. 4) For years, Navarro rocked the guitar in
Jane’s Addiction with frontman Perry Farrell. 5) Farrell’s solo
career has been revived. He signed with Virgin Records in 1999.
Virgin Records also employs 6) Yanni.
You see, Shaq is an amazing man. He has ties to everyone in the
world – even you. So if you see him, give him a hug for me.