Haterade (ht r – d) – A beverage enjoyed by people who dislike
and discredit others because they are more powerful, better
looking, wealthier and/or more popular.
I wish some people would set down their haterade long enough to
switch to a highball and wet their palate with a taste of Paris
Hilton aged for over 22 years. Paris is a tall drink of blonde who
is the great-granddaughter of hotel-chain founder Conrad Hilton.
Often portrayed as a snobby socialite only “famous for being
famous,” her most recent soir�e into the media surrounds the
release of a home-made sex video. If none of this rings a bell then
you are not sipping haterade; you’re most likely sipping a
latt� and reading the Wall Street Journal. Moving on.
See if you can follow my reasoning for asking some of you to set
down the angry person’s drink of choice. No one blames poor people
for being born to poor parents. Nor do I see them hating on less
attractive people because they were unfortunate not to be blessed
with what current-day standards designate as “good looks.” Along
these lines I can’t understand the utter contempt that some people
have for Paris Hilton. So she was fortunate enough to have been
born a multi-millionaire, is that her fault? And she’s a leggy
blonde who most men, and some women, find physically attractive, is
that a reason to dislike her?
Paris is doing what millions of 20-somethings across the United
States and the world are doing. She’s just doing it with more money
and national attention. In fact I know at least five Paris Hiltons
who live right here in Fort Collins and several more dotted across
the country. I’m speaking of young adults who would trade their
college educations in a second to be financially set for life and
best friends with Tara Reid. I don’t want to act like this is
purely a female characteristic. When I speak of Paris Hiltons I’m
including guys as well. Paris Hiltons are in my classes, at the
bars and in their own homes making sex videos every weekend and I
would guess many weekdays, too.
Supposedly she parties hard. Now believe it or not I’m not an
A-list millionaire surrounded by beautiful, rich young adults with
an open-invitation to the best clubs and most popular places in the
world, but if I were I would probably party hard too. I’m not
saying I’d be taking drugs up my nose and staying up for days on
end, but she might not necessarily be doing that either. Even if
she is, isn’t it better than just another rich and famous loon
killing somebody, being a racist or any other myriad problems
modern day superstars have recently been convicted of, or even
worse, pronounced innocent of?
And true I haven’t been downloaded for any performance on the
Internet, but I’m not somebody who would say that making a homemade
sex video is wrong. If the two parties are consenting adults (she
was 19 at the time) then I won’t be the person to throw a stone. I
would, however, be the one to hold onto the video.
I urge you to put down the haterade. Worry about yourself and
what you’re doing in life. If you find the need to unnecessarily
hate on somebody, please count to ten and have a drink of whiskey,
beer, milk or latt�. You could probably use one.
Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie
Wednesday nights on FOX