1975 was a glorious year. For in 1975, the world was blessed
with a most wonderful creation – Pong.
While I have no recollection of that year, as I was not brought
into this world until 1981, I am confident that it started a
revolution. That revolution culminated in the year of my birth,
with the release of Mr. Moru Iwatani’s masterpiece – Pac-Man.
This video game was the beginning of it all. You could get your
official Pac-Man cereal, your official Pac-Man t-shirt, and the
official 1982 album “Pac-Man Fever” by Buckner and Garcia. This
record was not only a passionate ode to Pac-Man, but had songs
about Donkey Kong and Centipede as well. Oh, what a time to be
Today, the video game craze continues. Kids wear their Pokemon
shirts and listen to the official soundtrack for “Grand Theft Auto:
Vice City.” We are a generation that grew up with video games, and
in college, at least for the guys that I know, it shows. Because
playing video games, ladies, is one way that guys bond.
Now, I plead with you ladies, please, please, please try to
understand this. I will not claim to understand how girls bond,
mainly because I am not a girl. But, if one of you were to ever
explain to me what you do, I would do my best to comprehend what
you were saying.
Now, it’s true, guys tend to bond while doing many things —
eating steak, watching “The Simpsons,” smoking cigars, eating steak
while smoking cigars and watching “The Simpsons.” But why video
games? What do they have to offer in the way of furthering of our
The answer is, I don’t know.
I don’t really think any guy knows. But then again, asking that
question is like asking why Wal-Mart puts out its Christmas stuff
in August. We just don’t know.
Maybe it’s the fact that instead of going out and attempting to
play football, we can all sit in the basement and watch each other
play “NCAA Football 2004” and be perfectly content. Maybe it’s the
fact that instead of going out and beating each other senseless, we
can do it on the couch with a bag of Cheetos in our laps. Or, maybe
we’re just lazy.
Whatever the reason may be, I would just ask that you ladies try
hard to understand or at least put up with us. I have witnessed too
many arguments over a guy wanting to play a video game for ten
minutes to let this go any further. Bonding is necessary for us,
If not for the fact that it is the quest of most guys to be able
to dominate their friends in every video game ever created, then at
least just look at it as letting us have our guy time. Because if
we don’t keep our tight knit group of friends together, then who
will we hang out with when you find out what losers we are and dump
So, there it is: a feeble attempt to explain the innate
obsession that guys have with little people on a TV screen. I don’t
know why we are like this, but right now, you will have to excuse
me. I have a steak on the grill, a cigar in my mouth and the
Simpsons are on in five minutes. I’ll be in the basement.