Prevent yourself from being a victim
Before I came to college, when I thought of Halloween I would
think of that smell in the air: a mixture of snow and burning
pumpkins. I would remember planning my costume based on the fact
that I was going to have to work a coat and gloves somewhere in the
mix, either under or over my costume. I would reminisce about my
dad trailing behind my sister and I with a trash bag so that we
could transfer our candy into it after every house because you
always get more candy if people think you don’t have any yet.
That was back in a world where the biggest safety concern was
going through the candy to make sure it hadn’t been opened yet, and
not eating anything that was homemade. That was back in a world
where the saddest thing about my Halloween was not being allowed to
eat Pixie Stix because my parents thought they could have cocaine
in them.
Now that I’ve been in college for four years, when I think of
Halloween I realize that’s its just another excuse for most of the
men to dress like women, the women to dress like sluts, and
everyone to get as intoxicated as they possibly can. I look back at
last year’s Halloween, and I remember how many times the drunken
nurse and his stethoscope groped me. I remember my friend locking
himself in his car and going to sleep, refusing to unlock the door
or leave the car even though it was below zero. I remember my
boyfriend throwing up in the front yard on my friend’s shoes, and I
realize how lucky it is that those are the worst things that
happened that night and I realize that other people probably
weren’t so lucky.
A report put out by the United Stated Department of Justice,
“The Sexual Victimization of College Women,” estimates that the
women at a college that has 10, 000 female students could
experience more than 350 completed rapes per year. This statistic
does not include attempted rapes and other forms of sexual assault,
nor does it account for the vast number of sexual assault crimes
that are not reported.
So what does this mean for you this Halloween? College campuses
host large concentrations of young women who are at greater risk
for rape and other forms of sexual assault than women in comparable
age groups. As with most holidays and other random excuses to
party, most of us will be out at the bars or at parties showing off
our Britney Spears costume and it is important to keep a few things
in mind. Watch out for yourself, and for your friends. If you are
going to drink make sure that at least one of your friends stays
sober so he or she can watch out for you. Its important to have a
ride home, and to have someone walk you to your car but also keep
in mind that for both completed and attempted rapes, 9 in 10
offenders were known to the victim. So, as careful as you are, you
may still find yourself in a less than ideal situation. Keep in
mind that the legal definition of rape and sexual assault is quite
different from the man jumping out from behind the bushes with a
gun that the media portrays. Sexual assault can be anything from
unwanted touching to sex with a person who is too intoxicated to
consent. If you find yourself in any situation where you are even
questioning what happened, there are many resources available both
on campus and off. Many women do not report sexual assaults because
they do not characterize their sexual victimization as a crime for
a number of reasons, such as embarrassment, not clearly
understanding the legal definition of rape, or not wanting to
define someone they know who victimized them as a rapist, or
because they blame themselves for the sexual assault.
I, myself, was one of those women. Four years ago at a Fourth of
July party I had a “date rape” drug slipped into my Kool-Aid. I
remember getting into the swimming pool and the next thing I knew I
was upstairs and my ex-boyfriend was having sex with me. I never
reported it, or even told anyone because I figured that it was my
fault: I should have been more careful. I didn’t classify it as
rape, because I couldn’t think of my ex-boyfriend as a rapist.
Since that day I have realized the horror of what took place that
night and I wish I could have realized it sooner. I share this
story with you hoping that if this Halloween, or any other time in
your life you should find yourself in an unwanted sexual experience
that you will remember my story, and the millions of others like
it, and you will make the choice to do your part to stop it from
happening again.
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