Sep 182003
Authors: Gabriel Dance

6:30 am.

Wake up. Immediately thank anybody even remotely responsible for

sending you to CSU. Laugh at CU. Repeat. Go back to bed – you need

your sleep to be at your best for the game.

9:00 am.

Wake up – again. Laugh at CU. Give 8-by-11 headshot of Fum

McGraw that sits on your night stand a thumbs up. Shake Sonny

Lubick bobble-head. Put on at least one piece of CSU Ram


11:00 am.

Write Bradlee Van Pelt inspirational game day letter.

11:15 am.

Put inspirational letter with rest of letters proving you’re


12:00 pm.

High five life-size cutout of John Elway; although he went to

Stanford, he’s a Ram fan through-and-through. Marvel at the amount

of hyphens I used in that sentence.

1:00 pm

Get together with best buddy and pretend to be Dan Patrick doing

a SportsCenter segment on the unbelievable CSU Rams. Then go to

buddy for more in-depth game analysis. He pretends to be Linda Cohn

because “she’s an awesome anchor, man!” but you still think that’s

a little weird.

3:30 pm

Pre-game jitters start rumbling in your belly. Squash ’em with a

40 oz. (I prefer my 40s to be either strawberry or cherry Kool-Aid,

but I’ve heard some people drink Colt 45 flavor.)

4:45 pm

Practice mean game day face in mirror. If you don’t have a good

mean face stay home and watch game on TV. Think that’s unfair? I’m

sorry, do we look like sissy Buffalo fans?

5:00 pm

Tailgate time! You must make it to the field three hours before

game time to tailgate. Not sure what this means? If you like one or

more of the following you should check it out: chicks, dudes, food,

drink, music, Ram football, other*.

* By “other” I mean if you’re not tailgating you’re missing half

the game and that would be lame. Nobody likes lame, remember?


Final pregame ritual – paint CSU on chest. Make sure you cover

your nipples though. It gets cold out there!




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