Football is finally here

Sep 042003
Authors: John Teten

I am excited. The lull that is post-Carmelo Anthony and pre-Bradlee Van Pelt is over. Football season is officially here and it gives me a weird feeling, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class. For some unknown reason, watching high-speed man sandwiches on a Sunday afternoon has been known to make even the most brazen man shed a tear. Well, with the Pennington-less Jets having already opened the season last night against the ‘Skins, and with Britney having open-mouth kissed Aretha Franklin, the first weekend in professional football can begin.

While I must admit I wish I could watch Mike Vick slip through the fingers of Parcells’ new troops on Sunday, little else has diminished my anticipation of Week One. And there is good news for Atlanta Falcons fans. Superman is out of his “rigid cast,” and will most likely not need surgery. With nearly every publication releasing their predictions for the year, I figured The Collegian should do the same. So here are a couple things you can count on this year…(I don’t condone gambling, but if you’re looking to get filthy rich, I suggest putting your money on these predictions)

Broncos- The Bronc’s can count on a slightly-over mediocre year. Clinton Portis will continue to amaze the league and rush for 1,550 yards. Ashley Lelie will relieve Eddy Mac and becomes Plummer’s new favorite target by week four. I see 9-7, and a wildcard spot in the playoffs.

Around the League- Former Ram Joey Porter and his bullet filled backside will return to play in Denver Oct. 12. He’ll probably stay away from LoDo and the night scene, though.

Current St. Louis Rams Kurt Warner and Marshall Faulk will lead a resurgence of power, ending the regular season with the best record 13-3.

Vick (OK so I love the guy) inherits a 4-3 team and leads them to 11-5. Seriously.

Ricky Williams will be this years MVP, he will rush for 2,000-plus yards.

The first coach to be fired will be Arizona’s Dave McGinnis. The combo of Jeff Blake and Emmit is just not quite enough to put points on the board.

The Coach of the year will be Dick Vermeil. At least I hope so, so that we can see another breakdown on national TV.

Playoff Predictions- The NFC division champs, EAST- Eagles WEST- Rams SOUTH- Falcons NORTH- Packers The NFC champs? Sadly, the Eagles. I hate the friggin’ Eagles.

The AFC division champs, EAST- Dolphins WEST- Chiefs SOUTH- Titans NORTH- Steelers. The AFC champs? The wildcard Indianapolis Colts.

Super Bowl- Eagles 34 Colts 31. Dang it, I hate the Eagles.

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