College is a good time. That’s why I’ll still be around another semester (or so I like to believe that’s why I’ll still be here).
But soon enough we’ll all be in that place they call the real world. Scary. Appreciate college life while you can. Why?
Only in college can you and your 50 classmates close your notebooks loud enough to get the professor to end class five minutes early. Try ruffling your papers in an attempt to cut a company meeting short.
Only in college can you see a different attractive female every single day, unless you somehow land a job at the Playboy mansion.
Only in college can you go to class in gym shorts and a tank top or the same clothes you wore out the night before and no one will ask you why.
Only at our college can you watch a top-25 Division I football team, men’s and women’s NCAA Tournament-qualifying basketball teams, and an NCAA Tournament-qualifying volleyball team – all without paying a dime (Well, except for the fact you pay for tickets with your students fees, but it doesn’t feel like we’re paying for the games).
Only at our college can you play Frisbee golf. Period. How many other Frisbee golf courses have you heard of?
Only in college can Zach Schmitz live out his athletic dreams by playing nine intramural sports a year. It’s also the only time he can hold his head high while running around Hughes Stadium wearing tight light yellow shorts that reach only his mid-thigh, green and white socks that reach his knees, a tight green “Go State” shirt and a glittery red crash helmet, all while taunting backup offensive lineman Kelly Wall through a beat-up cheerleader’s megaphone.
Only in college can you upset an entire sorority house with one of your columns, despite not once ever mentioning their name.
Only in college can you rile up a girl so much that she wants to see you on the front page of the Collegian wearing nothing but a bikini.
Only in college do you learn such useless information like how the bikini got its name (It was named after the Bikini Islands in the Pacific Ocean where scientists tested the atomic bomb and saw the atoms split into two parts).
You don’t have to be in college to see basketball players on the court or out on the town at night. But being in college, you’d at least think you’d see them once or twice in class.
Only in college can you go to Vegas on Collegian money to cover a football game, then spend too much time on the Strip, fail to send your story in from Vegas, actually re-type and send your story from a dorm room at Mesa State in Grand Junction more than five hours late, and not get fired. And then you’re allowed to cover a game at UCLA the next year, despite the fact you must drive through Vegas to get to L.A.
Only in college can you tailgate for the CU-CSU game and then go up to the press box at Invesco Field with a slight buzz.
Only the seniors at this college can say you beat CU three of the four years you were here. Or three of the five years you were here. Or six.
Only in college can you get your friends interning in the athletic department to let you on the field at halftime to kick field goals in a dinosaur outfit.
Only in college can you see a top-notch football player at a bar and he’ll buy you shots. Once that guy gets to the pros, though, he’ll expect a drink from you, even though he could buy your car with his pocket change.
And finally, only in college can an “Only in college” column run. Hey, I gotta do these things while I can.
Jon is a senior journalism major and this is his last day as the Collegian sports editor.