Mar 062003
Authors: Jon Ackerman

If you’re reading this in class today, I’m sorry. You don’t want to be here, 13/16 of your class isn’t, but your professor is probably giving some sort of extra credit. Or an exam.

So how much of your spring break travel plans has your power-trippin’ professor ruined? I could be in Florida right now. But rather, because of a mid-term this morning, I was forced to schedule my flight Saturday afternoon, for $45 more because it’s on the weekend.

Today is like the two days no one went to school because of conflicts with the Denver Broncos’ Super Bowl Championships parades. The only reason anyone did show up is because a teacher has a warped vision of the world’s priorities and took attendance that day. Like the chubby, unpopular kindergarten classmate’s birthday party, school is not on anyone’s wish list today.

You could be in Surprise, Ariz., watching the Colorado Rockies’ spring training. I know it’s a surprise, but Surprise is really a city. It’s about 25 miles northwest of Phoenix, and 969 miles from any classes.

You could be in Fullerton, Calif., with the CSU women’s tennis team. Tennis isn’t your sport? At least you’d be out of the Fort. It’s five miles north of Anaheim, 1,066 miles from here and 15 degrees warmer than here. So tomorrow it’ll be 35 degrees warmer than where you’re at today.

As a matter of fact, follow just about any of the CSU athletic teams on their spring break ventures. The women’s golf team is subject to Arizona. The men’s team will be at work in Florida.

Or you could be on your way to Las Vegas, 806 miles away. The men’s and women’s basketball teams start play in the Mountain West Conference Tournament on Wednesday. The women are surging, the men are swerving, but is Mountain West basketball really the reason to go to Vegas?

Just imagine what better use of your precious time it would be if you weren’t in class today. Even if you do stay put in Fort Collins, wouldn’t you rather scope out the new Frisbee golf location than waste time in class?

Sorry, professors, you’re just trying to make every day that we pay for your services count, right? The way I look at it, you’ve already got my money, don’t force me start my spring break after 68 percent of the other students, and I’ll be more likely to show up after break.

But I’m not bitter or anything.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

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