Dating is always a good topic to discuss because it seems that everyone has an opinion on the subject.
From man-haters to guys who just want to find a girl capable of “intelligent conversation,” everyone has a unique philosophy and experience to share. One thing most people can agree on, however: when it comes to the wide world of dating – it’s a jungle out there.
“I think I’ll spend half my life trying to figure women out,” said Brian, 21. “And I’ll spend the other half trying to forget what I learned.”
It seems most men interviewed feel that women are about as easy to figure out as a Rubix cube, while women maintain the stance that it isn’t all that difficult.
“It’s hard to meet somebody who doesn’t have that past relationship that is like a skeleton in her closet,” said Matt Sweet, a 21-year-old finance major. “It seems like you have to spend so much time dealing with how her last boyfriend screwed her over.”
Women have plenty of complaints as well. Amanda, a 19-year-old single mother feels that men don’t try hard enough to accommodate the girls they date.
“They don’t open doors anymore,” she said. “Girls are always paying on dates now, too,” she said. “Like when you go out, it’s the girl that buys the drinks. Maybe that’s because girls can actually hold down a job.”
A.J. Hawks, a 21-year-old computer science major, understands why women sometimes complain about men.
“Guys aren’t always as trustworthy as they claim to be,” he said. “They say they have respect for girls, then I hear them talking and that respect isn’t there. Girls aren’t as hard to understand as people think they are. You have to look at things from their point of view. Just ask yourself, if you were them, what would you want a boyfriend to do?”
Ryan Reffel, a 20-year-old accounting major, feels that it’s difficult to have a healthy relationship while in college.
“It’s not worth it to have a girlfriend now because there is too much going on – it’s hard to have a healthy relationship,” said Reffel. “It seems like you are always meeting people at a party or in the bar. It’s like people are afraid to talk one on one. Guys want someone who can carry on an intelligent conversation. Somebody who can talk about politics, or just generally has some substance.”
It seems that the traditional “date” (guy asks girl out, takes her to dinner, pays, takes her home, kisses her politely, etc.) may be becoming extinct.
“Dating shouldn’t be dead,” said Jayson Higgs, 20. “Dating allows you to get to know someone before jumping into the sack. I separate relationships into two categories: if they’re going somewhere, or if they’re not. If I see it going somewhere, then I’ll make an effort and romance her. If it’s just a weekend pop, why bother?”
“Roles are changing,” said Angela Wieber, a 19-year-old human development and family studies major. “These days people are getting to know each other as friends, then hooking up. It’s not necessarily better or worse – just different. I like going on dates – it’s just more fun if you are friends first.”
“Friends first” is a common mantra for many singles. David Brunkow, 22-year-old computer science major said that there are several benefits to hooking up with someone you are already friends with.
“Most of the people I’ve been with were already my friends,” he said. “It’s so much easier that way. You already know they’re a good person and that they’re not going to screw you over. Also, if things don’t work out, you don’t lose your friend.”
Holly Bornschlegel, a 23-year-old restaurant manager is a firm believer in that concept.
“I look for two things in a man: they have to make me laugh, and they have to make me think. Without that, it’s nothing,” she said. “You have to be friends first. I don’t believe in flowers, I don’t believe in love songs. It’s about action – being able to talk and communicate.”
-Edited by Dustyn Connelley and Josh Hardin