Poke for a day, but a Rammie fan the next
Color me yellow.
Yellow and Brown, that is.
Yes, those colors better associated with certain bodily functions were very near to my heart on Thursday night as I found myself rooting for the Wyoming Cowboys.
I’m still ducking lightning bolts.
Regardless, the Pokes’ 73-66 upset of No. 7 Gonzaga in the first round of the NCAA tournament was arguably the biggest win in Mountain West Conference history. As I sensed the Cowboys’ upset hanging in the wings, I started jotting down notes and ended up with a full-fledged column.
Here, then, are the events of my life on Thursday as documented through a Travelodge Hotel pen, the back of a Chinese restaurant menu and three White Russians (drinks, not companions).
6:00 p.m.: Wow, Wyo’s actually hanging in this thing. The Cowboys just substituted Ronell Mingo into their lineup, prompting me to repeat the phrase: “Maybe the Mingo ate your baby!” at least five or seven times.
6:15 p.m.: Lots of weird names going on in this game (see: Mingo). I’m thinking back to Dave Letterman introducing Oprah to Uma at the Oscars a few years back and envisioning a similar scenario here in Albuquerque: “Uche, this is Dickau. Dickau, Uche.”
6:20 p.m.: Serious moral dilemmas going on here. On one hand, we have a good upset in progress (gotta root for the underdog) and it would be a tremendous win for the Mountain West, which would be great for CSU. On the other hand, we have everything a CSU fan is taught to cheer against – Wyoming. Dilemmas.
6:30 p.m.: I’m equally excited and sickened from Wyoming playing so well. These idiots are neck and neck with Gon-frickin-zaga, the No. 7 team in the nation, and you’re telling me they took overtime to beat Air Force? This is how they could have (and SHOULD have) played all season. Idiots.
6:31 p.m.: Gon-frickin-zaga. Had to say that one more time.
6:35 p.m.: Commercial. Just flipped to VH-1 and Faith Evans’ boobs are about to fall out of her blouse. Despite objections from the room, I flip back to hoops.
6:45 p.m.: Make myself another White Russian. The stuff’s like alcoholic chocolate milk. Bravo, Pinkos. I haven’t seen this much Russian productivity since that coal shortage in the early ’80s.
7 p.m.: In other basketball action, No. 1 Kansas trails Holy Cross 37-35. Guess Abraham and Moses have D’d up pretty hard on Kansas forward Drew Gooden. Maybe all that “The Lord’s on our side” talk wasn’t bull jive after all.
7:15 p.m.: Quick stop on MTV just in time to see the Osbournes’ dog drop anchor on the Afghan. Yahtzee.
7:35 p.m.: Oh my God, Wyo’s gonna win. I can’t even tell you how crazy this is. I’m actually chanting “W-Y-O!” May the Lord and Jeff Hathaway have mercy on my soul.
7:40 p.m.: More dilemmas: I’m really diggin the music in that Shaq Burger King commercial, but I can’t stand Whoppers. Huh.
7:45 p.m.: Kansas looks like they’re gonna hang on, but they still lose points with me because guard Kirk Hinrich looks way too much like Frodo Baggins from “Lord of the Rings.”
7:46 p.m.: The announcers are calling the Pokes’ triumph, “The biggest upset of the Tournament so far” and they’re right. Wyoming forward Josh Davis could have been All-American if he had played all season like he did tonight. Idiot.
It’s Sunday now and I’m back to wearing green and gold. Wyoming lost yesterday to Arizona, and I can’t say I’m crushed. Now I’m off to a better bandwagon. And isn’t that what March Madness is all about? Well, that and Russian coal production, of course.
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