Jul 112012

Author: CollegeAveStaff

By Kelly Sterner

Albert Einstein said, “Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.” I think Albert might be on to something here. I offer a continuation to the humorous facts I’ve learned in the past four years of college life that far surpass what I learned in class.


1. Most people who decide to cheat on a test choose to look off of the person who just asked me what class it is.


2. Don’t throw a box in the dumpster instead of the recycle bin. Your neighbor will whip out their handy-dandy box cutters and recycle it accordingly while giving you the greenie-weenie death glare.


3. Telling the order taker at a pizza place that their rival is on the other line and you’re going with the lowest bidder gets you blacklisted. Jokingly asking if they could put the crust on top this time ends with the same result.


4. Carrying a peanut snack bar around campus is the biggest mistake you can make. Squirrels are not afraid to wrestle it away from you. Once again, bob and weave accordingly. To the girl in the Oval luring squirrels with peanut butter covered plastic sporks and knives, thanks, now the little suckers are armed.


5. I need to wear a T-shirt that says, “I am not a freshman. And no, I don’t know where your tour group is.”


6. Fort Collins is under-represented on People of Wal-Mart.


7. The most common pick-up line for drunk dummies at house parties is, “So, how old are you?” Furthermore, the proper response to this is not “I’m 13.”


8. After experiencing apartment life in Fort Collins, you will soon realize why all the one-bedroom apartments fill up so fast.


9. Your calculator that has worked all semester will go dead after the second question of your test, so keep batteries in your backpack.


10. Finally, a few Murphy’s Laws of College: 80 percent of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed about the one book you didn’t read. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book. Corollary – If you are given a take home exam, you will forget where you live. The more general the title of a course, the less you will learn from it and the more specific a title is, the less you will be able to apply it later.

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