Dec 082011
Authors: Allison Sylte, Erin Udell, Courtney Riley, Colleen McSweeney and Erin Eastburn

Allison Sylte (Content Managing Editor and “Miranda”): I think we’ve all had one of those days. You’re with your girl friends, just hanging out and doing lady things, and then the topic of “Which “Sex and the City” character are you?” comes up. It’s inevitable, really.

And last week, it finally happened in the estrogen-charged atmosphere which is the Collegian newsroom. I’m not going to lie: I think I’m a Carrie (I know… everyone wants to be a Carrie.). But I was shocked when the people who I thought were my friends, who I thought knew me and cared about me, immediately told me that I was a Miranda.

A Miranda, really? Just because I have red hair? For one thing, that’s freaking racist! I’m more than the color of my hair! For another thing, I hate cats, I’m never going to let a bartender get me pregnant and I’ll never make enough money to hire a maid.

So you know what? I’m going to make my own assumptions. Colleen, you’re obviously Carrie, because you have a column. Eastburn, you’re obviously Samantha, because you’re blond and seem to enjoy sex. And Courtney frickin’ Riley, you’re totally a Charlotte, because you’re idealistic and a brunette (that’s right… hair racism goes both ways.)

And Udell… just so you don’t feel “left out,” you’re a Stanford, because if there’s one person I can see getting married to an Italian gay guy who you give explicit permission to cheat on you, in a wedding DJed by Liza Minelli, that prominently features swans and Colleen McSweeney… it’s you.

Erin Udell (News Editor and “Stanford”): Um…thanks? Despite the fact that you’re actually comparing me to a man (which is a total bitchy, Miranda thing to do, Ali) I’m going to take this Stanford thing in stride because, you know what, he’s a pretty legit dude. He’s funny, smart, bald. Pretty much the only thing we don’t have in common is fashion sense. Also, he’s a great temporary addition to the tight-knit group of Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha – and I’m okay with swooping in, saying something witty and then leaving for a fabulous vest fitting. No complaints here, ladies.

Courtney Riley (Entertainment Editor and “Charlotte”): Ali, the last time I checked, Colleen was brunette too, so you can’t really discriminate here based on hair color. But you’re right, I do share Charlotte’s idealistic belief that true love is out there for everyone. I certainly wouldn’t mind a knight in shining armour showing up on my Park Avenue doorstep. But my main problem with being named Charlotte is that she’s way too set on finding a husband. I’m 20 years old, and I’d rather have Mr. Right Now than Mr. Right.

Colleen McSweeney (Editorial Editor and “Carrie”): Ladies, I thought we were above this. Comparing ourselves to the shallow, one-dimensional characters of “Sex and the City”? Really? We’re so much more than that. We’re obviously far beyond the archaic, feminine caricatures of… Okay, actually, here’s the thing. I can’t even pretend to be that much of a feminist –– there’s a reason so many relate to Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte (And Stanford). They represent so many different sides of a woman’s perspective. And, they date a lot of men. Guess what we don’t do? Date a lot of men.

So why not live vicariously through them! Sure, I could be a “Carrie” –– even though I think spending $35 for shoes at Target is a splurge. But if it means I’ll one day date a Jesus-esque mountain man like Aidan, but end up with the secretly sensitive and totally loaded Mr. Big, I can’t complain.

And, if there IS a Samantha here, it’s our own sassy blonde sex kitten, Erin Eastburn –– and by “sex kitten,” I mean the only female staff member who interacts with a straight man on a regular basis.

Erin Eastburn (Photography Editor and “Samantha”): I don’t know about you guys, but my goal in life is to live like the characters on “Sex and the City.” Samantha is no exception. Yes, she may be a whore, but she’s successful, knows what she wants and gets it. I’m one step there, moving to Manhattan in less then a month. All I need now is a man (who I just use as a stress reliever… not a boyfriend), a high paying job and three girlfriends who I can tell my sex stories to.

 Posted by at 5:47 pm

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