Itâ€™s a tradition between me and my high school friends. Every year, when I head back to Centennial for Thanksgiving Break, we see the newest addition to the â€œTwilightâ€ saga. Itâ€™s kind of weird, because none of us really like it that much, and weâ€™re also in our 20s, which means that we kind of stand out among the hoards of preteens.
But, nevertheless, this Thanksgiving Break, once again I found myself sitting in a dark movie theater, holding a ticket stub that confirmed to me, yes, I did in fact spend $9.50 to see â€œBreaking Dawn Part Iâ€ on opening weekend. Iâ€™m not going to lie: it was 117 minutes of my life that Iâ€™m not getting back.
â€œTwilightâ€ was pretty bad. â€œNew Moonâ€ was slightly better, if only because Taylor Lautner spent the whole movie shirtless. â€œEclipseâ€ might have been one of the worst movies Iâ€™ve ever seen in my life.
But â€œBreaking Dawn Part Iâ€ took my perception of how terrible filmmaking and writing can be and brought it to such a low level that, when I watched â€œAll About Steveâ€ later that week, I was positively enthralled.
Granted, it started promisingly enough. Taylor Lautner was shirtless within 30 seconds, and I got a good laugh out of watching his anguish as he dramatically dropped his wedding invitation into the mud to the â€œTwilight Sagaâ€™sâ€ ever impressive soundtrack of up and coming emo artists.
But, after the 20 minute long wedding sequence where Kristen Stewart looked into Robert Pattinsonâ€™s eyes with her trademark confused facial expression, possibly the most awkward sex scene involving humans, vampires and a destroyed bed I have ever seen, and then a birthing sequence that made me want to get my tubes tied, I realized something: I am absolutely embarrassed that I spent money to see this.
After all, what lesson does the â€œTwilight Sagaâ€ have? That you need a man to complete you? That if you ever get pregnant, youâ€™re going to die? That itâ€™s worth it to forgo your friends for the sake of a boy? That if you literally only have one facial expression, you can still find success?
Maybe itâ€™s the lonely, vitamin-D deprived Collegian staff member in me speaking, but that just doesnâ€™t sit well with me. â€œBreaking Dawn,â€ for me anyway, is the point where the â€œTwilightâ€ saga went from harmless fun to something thatâ€™s actually pretty damaging.
Hopefully, next Thanksgiving, my friends and I can find a new tradition, mainly so I donâ€™t have to sit through Part II… but I probably will anyway.
_Content Managing Editor Allison Sylte can be reached at email@example.com. _