Weâ€™ll start with a basic fact: I love beer.
After a long week, or even a couple of days during the week if itâ€™s one of those hellish ones, itâ€™s nice to kick back, relax, watch something on TV and drink to my heartâ€™s desire. Iâ€™m sure there are a few people reading this that are nodding their heads in agreement, possibly while sipping on a beer.
Now, while I love beer, it is one of those things that builds you up, only to knock you flat on your ass if youâ€™re not careful.
The simple truth also is that when anyone is out-of-conrol drunk they do things that they donâ€™t normally do.
Sometimes theyâ€™re happy theyâ€™ve done them, such has finally not worrying about what will happen if you tell a girl that you like her. While at the other end of the spectrum, they wake up somewhere strange, like a bedroom they donâ€™t know, with their clothes scattered and head throbbing â€“â€“ not only from the lack of water, but from their heart beating extra fast because theyâ€™re scared of what they did beforehand to end up in an unfamiliar bed…next to a semi-familiar stranger.
There is a right time and a right place for everything to occur. When you like somebody but are afraid to say anything about it, youâ€™ve built up this alternate reality of what could or couldnâ€™t happen if steps are taken to see if anything is there between the two of you.
My advice: whatever your gender, find whatever bodily piece you need of yourself in order to man or woman up and figure it out. Quit torturing yourself with the â€œmaybe,â€ â€œmaybe notâ€ going-to-happen future playing through your head.
And maybe you do need a few drinks to calm your nerves and relax about what you want to say. There are only two possible outcomes: one great, one, not so much.
That doesnâ€™t mean the apocalypse is going to occur if youâ€™re rejected. Take that rejection as a sign that youâ€™re simply on the wrong road that isnâ€™t leading you where you thought it would.
After a few drinks, say your piece about your long-lasting infatuation. Maybe you get lucky, and all that you thought was there really is the case. You find out youâ€™re on the right road and your intuition has steered you correctly. And as you say your piece about how you feel about whomever it may be, they start to smile reassuringly that they feel the same. Sounds pretty damn simple to me.
If youâ€™re drunk and either option listed above is the case, there are two outcomes that can be detrimental to this future youâ€™ve planned for yourself and said obsession youâ€™ve created.
First of all, anyone that becomes an obsession to anyone no longer becomes a person, but rather a must-have item. Itâ€™s like a new iPhone, even though youâ€™ve had one before, and know what to expect, this one that youâ€™ve been waiting for… is just better, and you want it as soon as you can get it.
As I mentioned before, I love beer. What I have noticed about beer, as much as I love it, is the way it makes me feel heavy and weightless all at once. Beer is very jealous, and it often schemes to ruin the relationships I am trying to create when its amber brew is by my side and pumping through my veins.
While I want to be suave, attractive and witty, beer loves to make me sound drunk. Honestly, if anyone finds me appealing while Iâ€™m drunk, theyâ€™re obviously drunk also.
So the ways to avoid waking up somewhere you donâ€™t know, with someone you donâ€™t want to, is simple. Start talking and finding similarities. Thatâ€™s going to be the one thing that can determine whether youâ€™re hammered and enamored, or whether there really could be possibly something there.
Either way, youâ€™re going to have the same things in common in any state of mind. Being drunk at the same time is not a common interest to push an infatuation further, unless thatâ€™s all you want to have in common with one another.
Say youâ€™re drunk, and if whomever youâ€™re talking to reciprocates a similar sentiment, you may have found that sloppy, common, drunk love youâ€™ll regret in the morning.
But alcohol is the No. 1 rape drug out there though. There is a right time and place for everything, as I said before. If you really think you like someone, speak your mind and get that out in the open, then stumble your way home and text them something embarrassing for them to remember you by in the morning.
Itâ€™s better than the awkward morning and walk of shame home, and itâ€™s better than realizing that youâ€™ve done something you wouldnâ€™t want to have done in a sober state of mind.
Adam Suriel-Gestwicki is a junior English major. His column appears every other Friday in the Collegian. He can be reached at letters at collegian.com.