Sep 132011
Authors: College Avenue Staff

1) After a long night of drinking, where do you wake up in the morning?

A. Tom’s bed? Jessica’s? No, I mean…who are you?
B. A friends couch, anywhere else is unsanitary
C. The sidewalk outside of my favorite bar

2) What color is most appealing for a drink?
A. Murky
B. Clear
C. Blue

3) What is your current ringtone?
B. Beethoven
C. Kenny Rogers

4) What does your drink choice say about your gender?
A. I don’t care, it gets me drunk.
B. I drink girlie booze.
C. I drink beer. That’s it.

5) What makes a nice garnish on a mixed drink?
A. Olives
B. My pinky finger in the air!
C. A rubber drink koozie

6) So you’re an ice cube. How would you like to melt?
A. In a cup of vodka
B. Slowly, in a glass of fine imported vodka
C. On the dance floor

7) What do you leave the bartender for a tip?
A. What’s a “tip”?
B. A few bucks
C. My number

8) What is your favorite pick-up line?
A. How YOU doin’?
B. Do you come here often?
C. I could get lost in your eyes

Mostly A’s: Long Island Iced Tea! You’re all about gettin’ shiwiggity shwasted! You probably use the word “dude” too many times per sentence and like to jump off tall objects while intoxicated. Your motto is “just pour a bunch of booze in my glass, and let’s get this party started!”

Mostly B’s: A glass of finely aged wine. You like to keep books from class that look fancy but you’ve never read. You also enjoy drinking the perfect Pinot in a crowded bar, begging those less fortunate than you to simply leave you alone and disappear back into their bowl of chips and salsa from which they came. A phony accent is also usually involved.

Mostly C’s: PBR. You are in denial that your college career may eventually end and will party as long as possible. You also believe that your current job is going exceptionally well. So well in fact, that you’ve upgraded from ramen noodles to buttered spaghetti. You may also have trouble interacting at brunches with friends due to your need for constant booze on hand. Luckily, tomato juice-based drinks exist that allow you to drink before noon.

 Posted by at 3:43 pm

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