In its latest effort to quash the efforts of CSUâ€™s rambunctious population in adding to Old Townâ€™s free flowing â€œrivers of urine,â€ the Downtown After Dark initiative is attempting to implement an ID scanning system in Old Townâ€™s bars.
The scanners, which will have a pricetag of about $1,800 per bar (the group doesnâ€™t know how theyâ€™re being paid for yet), will theoretically be used to identify Old Townâ€™s troublemakers and keep them from destroying the peace during our otherwise relaxing nights of innocent college revelry.
And it sounds like a good idea, especially after some of the violent altercations this summer in Old Town. You canâ€™t argue that we shouldnâ€™t keep the drunken idiots at bay, and this seems like a pretty viable solution.
But, by the same token, it seems like another one of Fort Collinsâ€™ efforts to become a â€œStepford City,â€ (see all of the random awards the city tries to win) and another (very expensive) attempt to blame students, who make up a large percentage of Old Town bar-goers, for any sort of blemish on its otherwise sterling reputation.
After all, if youâ€™re going to put ID scanners in bars, the next logical step seems like liquor stores â€¦ and then grocery stores. Heck, and then peopleâ€™s houses. People drink there too.
Because seriously, drunk idiots have no place in this city at all! We should force them out by whatever means necessary. They just need to go away!
Like to a city thatâ€™s not in Money magazineâ€™s running for best place to live.
It really is a flawless idea. After all, they donâ€™t call â€œ1984â€ a utopian novel for nothing.