The Shallows

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May 082011
Authors: Dave Anderson
 Posted by at 3:16 pm


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May 082011
Authors: Ian Cox
 Posted by at 3:15 pm


 Uncategorized  Comments Off on RamTalk
May 082011
Authors: compiled by Greg Mees
  • Since the Morgan Library is open until 3 a.m. does that automatically make the Ramskeller open until 5 a.m.?
  • You can save a lot on college by learning calligraphy and making your own diploma.
  • When your RA starts causing more drama than anyone else in the hall combined you know, it’s time to get out of the dorms.
  • Is wearing a kilt while riding a bike sexual harassment?
 Posted by at 3:15 pm


 Uncategorized  Comments Off on Pidgeons!
May 082011
Authors: Benjamin Gowen
 Posted by at 3:15 pm


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May 082011
Authors: Derrick Burton
 Posted by at 3:14 pm

Daily Record

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May 082011

The Daily Record will return on June 15.

Arrest affidavits are not available for pick up from the CSU Police Department on Sundays.
The Daily Record is published in the Collegian Tuesday through Friday. It is compiled by the staff of the Collegian from arrest affidavits and a daily incident report provided by the CSU Police Department.

The Daily Record is also available online at

 Posted by at 3:12 pm

McSweeney: Why wait until the end to begin?

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May 082011
Authors: Colleen McSweeney

As much as I hate to admit it, I’m not Oprah Winfrey.

I’ve never hosted an Emmy-winning talk show, and with my career aspirations, I’ll definitely never be a billionaire with more than five multi-million-dollar estates.

Unlike Oprah, people barely ever read my book suggestions, and Tom Cruise has definitely never jumped up and down like a lunatic on my couch.

Needless to say, there are definite Oprah/Colleen disparities.

But after many years of sitting idly by as my Mom watched her show, I think — through unintentional Oprah-osmosis — she inspired my younger self. I could say I’m ashamed to admit it, but why? Besides being responsible for Dr. Phil’s fame, what harm has she done?

So a few weeks ago, while flipping through an old copy of “O: The Oprah Magazine,” I stumbled upon a quote that stemmed a newly rekindled love for the talk show host whose weight fluctuates more than Wall Street. (No offense, Oprah. I completely understand. I like bacon too.)

Underneath a glamorous photo of her were the words, “Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”
She’s no Mark Twain, and my judgment may have been impaired from lack of sleep, but her words affected me.

And throughout these past couple weeks of classes, they’ve continued to resonate in my scholastics-filled mind. More than ever, I’m beginning to realize the importance of speaking up before it’s too late.

While “too late” may sound ominous, it’s a relevant notion during a time of year when friends are graduating, moving on and in many cases, leaving our everyday lives completely. And I begin to wonder, have I taken Oprah’s advice? Or do I often wait until it really is too late?

Oprah would be ashamed, but the answer to the latter is definitely “yes.” Often, I don’t reach out before the opportunity for connections have passed.

My friend Emilie recently said, “It’s weird. It seems like I just start getting to know people in my classes during the last couple weeks of school. People loosen up more or something, and it makes me wish we had started talking earlier in the year.”
And I doubt she’s the only one who’s noticed the strange influx of socialization during the last month or so of classes.

Every year it’s the same: Just as the dry heat of summer begins to fill the classrooms and final projects and tests loom, people begin to open up. Instead of just asking to borrow a pen, kids all around the room start laughing, sharing their summer plans and most significantly, connecting.

Maybe our stress-induced caffeine addictions give us all something to bond over, or perhaps the prospect of an approaching carefree summer eases up some social tension, finally allowing us to notice the people sitting around us.
Whatever the exact reasons, one thing is clear: Stress brings college students together.

Some guys begin using “Let’s study for the final together” as an excuse to ask for some hot girl’s number (Ahem, former Editorials Editor Chadwick Bowman), and those two stoners asleep in the back of lecture finally wake up and realize, “Dude! We went to high school together right?”
It’s a beautiful thing.

And during college, a time when the only thing we can count on to stick around is Tony Frank’s voluptuous beard, we need to start appreciating the people we have around while we have them.

Of course, Oprah’s quote doesn’t only apply to the social dynamics in college, but it’s also a poignant reminder to start everything – especially relationships – when we first get the chance.

And it’s not as if we go into each semester’s classes with the intention of procrastinating the “getting-to-know you’s.”

Our hopes always start out high: We’ll for sure become best friends with everyone, we blissfully tell ourselves, and without a doubt, that 15-page final paper will be done within the first month. Ha…ha.

But as it seems, it often takes the immanent end to force us to begin.
So as we go into next semester, let’s do as Ms. Winfrey would – become besties with Tony Frank before it’s too late.

Editorials Editor Colleen McSweeney is a junior journalism major. Fellow Oprah enthusiasts can send letters and feedback to

 Posted by at 3:04 pm

Noblett: Introducing the 2011-2012 Collegian editors

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May 082011
Authors: Sam Noblett

The printing of this newspaper, the one you are reading right now, will mark the first paper published that bears the name Sam Noblett, editor in chief. This is a somewhat terrifying thought.

But with that fear comes excitement. Today starts what will hopefully be a year that can be seen as an overtly positive experience not only for the people producing the paper, of which there will be many, but also to you, the readers.

Last week, the Society of Professional Journalists recognized the Collegian as one of the top 3 student-daily newspapers in the country.

What an honor. Better not screw it up, right?

This year the Collegian has the potential to fall, but we could also be better: We were not No. 1. That makes it my job to not only assure that we don’t fall, but that we get better. The single largest choice I have to make about the quality of the newspaper is in my hiring of the Editorial Board. And this year I am very excited for the people who will be working as editors at the Collegian.

These editors will be in charge of producing content written and visual, designing the look of the paper, editing the writing and photos and, most of all, managing their own individual, content-producing staffs, among many other duties that will evolve through the semester.

So with this, I would like to introduce my editors for next year.

I asked them all to write a sentence about themselves but, in true Collegian style, Content Managing Editor Allison Sylte decided that they were all boring and wrote completely inaccurate bios for her coworkers, in true journalistic style.

Allison Sylte – Content Managing Editor
A junior journalism major, Ali has been at the paper since April 2010. She once made a mistake, but the laws of physics immediately altered to rectify it. She IS the most interesting man in the world.

Greg Mees – Visual Managing Editor
A junior journalism major, Greg has been at the paper since January 2010. Sara Bareilles currently has a restraining order against Mr. Mees, and he spent a summer following her across the country, watching her through her tour bus window while she was sleeping.

Matt Miller – News Editor
A senior journalism major, Matt has been at the paper since October 2009. Though this information is confidential, he is the man who ultimately killed Osama bin Laden, using nothing more than a toothpick and a copy of Kanye West’s latest album.

Erin Udell – News Editor
A senior journalism major, Erin has been at the paper since April 2010. She once got into a battle with a world champion MMA fighter, and defeated him simply with her charm, good looks and pinkie finger.
Erin Eastburn – Photo Editor*
A senior apparel merchandising major, Erin started at the paper in January. She is a gifted rapper who received co-songwriting credit on Ludacris’ masterpiece “Get Back (You don’t know me like that).”

Cris Tiller – Sports Editor
A junior journalism major, Cris started at the paper in February 2010. Despite being a sports editor, he secretly hates sports and would rather spend his free time creating figurines of ballerinas.

Colleen McSweeney – Editorials Editor
A junior journalism major, Colleen just started at the paper this February. She and Oprah spend their summers together at an estate in Aspen, where they often discuss knitting patterns and expensive knives.

Courtney Riley – Entertainment Editor
A junior journalism major, Courtney started the paper in August 2010. She is a world-champion body builder, and once graced the cover of “Good Housekeeping” and “Guns and Ammo” in the same year.

Rachel Childs – Web Content Editor
A junior journalism and tourism major, Rachel has been at the paper since September 2009. Rachel is a “never-nude” and wears jean shorts under everything, even when she showers, much to the chagrin of her ex-boyfriend, Michael Bolton.

Editor in Chief Sam Noblett is a junior liberal arts major. Letters and feedback can be sent to

 Posted by at 2:53 pm

Our View: Berlinberg: Now it’s up to you

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May 082011
Authors: Collegian Editorial Board

Despite how hard the Collegian has been on former Associated Students of CSU President and Vice-President Cooper Anderson and Jenny Babos’s administration, they have nevertheless completed most of their campaign promises over the course of their year in office.
And although their legacy may be far from perfect, it’s something that Anderson and Babos should be proud of.

The Department of Legislative Affairs has made a significant impact in advocating for CSU at the state capitol, serving as the student voice that higher education is in desperate need of. Seven a.m. finals have been moved to 7:30 a.m. –– a small victory, but a victory nevertheless.

And even their promise to light up the “A” may actually come into fruition with help from the administration.

Though Anderson said that the $4 RAIV fee was the accomplishment that his administration ought to be remembered for, it’s the victories listed above that will ultimately define the administration, because these are accomplishments that will benefit all of the students at CSU, not just a small few.

And as the Berlinberg/Roberson era begins, this is a lesson that they ought to learn as they embark on fulfilling their more than 40 campaign promises.

The greatest student government victories are not the ones that simply serve to further a pet cause, and are not necessarily the ones that look the best on a sheet of paper. It’s the little things – like ASCSU helping amend sections of House Bill 1301 – that make a real difference to students.

So, Jenny and Cooper, thanks for a year of service to CSU. And Eric and Rachel: Now it’s your turn.

Make a difference.

 Posted by at 2:49 pm

Homeless Gear helps children in need

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May 082011
Authors: Michael Bettis

Daphne Hernandez-Suarez, 11, sat on the floor reading through new glasses. Her mother, Olga Suarez, searched tables heaping with donated clothing. The distracted, half-smile on both faces is identical.

On this day, Friday, April 15th, as on many others, those smiles were at least in part placed there by Homeless Gear’s ‘Children In Need’ program.

“It doesn’t get better than that. It is so great to be in this position, with the community giving us the tools we need to help people,” said Sue Peterson, Program Coordinator for Homeless Gear: Children In Need, “What an honor it is, to be the conduit from the community to people in need.”

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Crossed Paths Launch New Trail

Children In Need, a Fort Collins-based outreach program of Homeless Gear, founded by retired businessman Ken John, blossomed when John’s path overlapped with that of Heidi Hood.

Hood was a paraprofessional and McKinney Liaison at Laurel Elementary in Fort Collins, working to assist homeless and near-homeless families and children.

At work she encountered children who wore Halloween costumes as regular clothing or shoes three sizes too big. In her free time she helped run an art program focused on providing homeless kids with a fun, expressive outlet.

“Ken (John) had donated children’s items that Homeless Gear’s adult program had no direct use for”, Hood said. “And we tried to figure out a way to get them to the neediest families.”
Children In Need was their answer.

Channeling Compassion

John and Hood teamed up with Homeless Gear volunteers, donors and agencies in the community to create the program with a monthly distribution of clothing, sundries and food items specifically for homeless and near-homeless families.

Invitations, in the form of vouchers, are given to families by the Poudre School District or other Homeless Gear authorized agencies.
The vouchers provide Children In Need with an effective tool in identifying and serving those most in need of their help.

Volunteers are the backbone of Homeless Gear and especially Children In Need, which according to Hood encourages families to volunteer — a unique quality in the non-profit world.

“If we want to teach our kids to have compassion for others, let them start young and see that they can make a difference, even when they are small,” Hood said.

Daunting Monthly Chores

Clothing of all sizes and seasons as well as toiletries and household items get donated to Homeless Gear for sorting and distribution.

Each month volunteers collect, sort, store, reorganize, display and give away hundreds of items. When the distribution is over, it starts all over again.

Growing their volunteer network and finding new agencies with access to their target demographics are program director Sue Peterson’s mandate.

To this end, Homeless Gear recently entered into a partnership with the Homeless Prevention Initiative (HPI), a branch of the national United Way, which helps 900 people annually with their rent payments.

HPI will give Children In Need program vouchers to qualifying families already in their system, increasing the chances that near-homeless families stay in their homes.

Peterson also worries about keeping the enthusiastic volunteers busy and satisfied but is overwhelmed by the outpouring of support, especially among students.

“The CSU students have been incredible and we’ve been amazed by the fraternities and sororities. They are all about service,” Peterson said.

Results Easy To Read

Olga Suarez deeply appreciates the work Children In Need does and the compassion of others, without which her family’s struggle would be more difficult.

“The clothing, the groceries make it so we can spend our wages on other things our family really needs,” Suarez said from behind that half-smile, her eyes moving to Daphne, who continued reading and grinning, like all kids should.

Graduating Chief Photographer Michael Bettis can be reached at

 Posted by at 1:34 pm