- The Obamas werenâ€™t invited to the royal wedding? Oh no they didnâ€™t!
- To the two girls next to me in the dorm showers: That sounded like it hurt.
- Pedestrian right of way doesnâ€™t constitute pedestrian stupidity.
- Hmm, I have time for a Crunchwrap Supreme or a quickie before class. I hate decisions.
I wonder if your Transition Lenses protect your eyes as well as they protect your virginity.
- Dear girl in the hot tub Tuesday with the white, see-through top: I donâ€™t even need an imagination with you.
- You worry a little bit about your best friendâ€™s well-being when you get texts at 3 a.m. saying, â€œSometimes, I feel like a little bear.â€