Apr 042011
 
Authors: Anna Baldwin and Eugene Daniels

By Eugene Daniels

So you’re dating this girl. You take her to meet your family and afterwards, they tell you they’re not sure about her and that she’s not for you. Well, what do you do?

Now without even having read Anna’s column, I know she’s going to tell you to fight for love! And if you find that special someone, then you should stick with them, no matter the odds because love will prevail!

Right, and maybe we can continue our fairy tale, storm the castle and kill the monster together in order to save the kingdom and then go on to the land of gum drops and candy!

Everyone needs to accept the fact that life is not a fairy tale and there isn’t always a happy ending with the one you love, especially when your family doesn’t like them.

I don’t know about everyone else, but my family and their opinions mean a lot to me. We’re close and spend a lot of time together.

And that means that if a girl doesn’t pass the “Daniels’ family-observation-test,” then she gets the boot (or sneaker, or whatever shoe I’m wearing that day).

Is that harsh? Probably, but I don’t really care. If a person comes into your life and your family is concerned about them, you have to decide who knows you best and is looking out for your best interest.

The answer is usually going to be your family.

I’ve been through this exact same thing. I won’t say the girl’s name but I will say that my family couldn’t stand her. And with the love goggles on, I didn’t realize some of the things that they would tell me.

Until one day, it hit me like Tyson hit Alan in “The Hangover” –– they were right. This girl was negative, hateful and mean. Mostly to other people and I didn’t need that around me. I was just too in love to see it.

Looking back, I realized the proper decision was made and you know what happened to that girl? Me neither! We don’t talk anymore, but I’m assuming she’s still mean and miserable.

You can try and fight for your love but family should come first. And half the time, the people you are fighting your family for are not going to be around forever anyway.

Call me cynical, but it’s true.

By Anna Baldwin

Let’s put it out in the open here –– Eugene is a mama’s boy. He admits this himself. There’s nothing wrong with it.

So, when his family, especially his mom, doesn’t like his girlfriend for any reason at all, then it’s an instant deal-breaker for him. As in, “never giving you the time of day again, girl.”

I can understand this, but at the same time I don’t….

Of course I value my family’s opinion, and I know that they mean well. They will always give me advice that will steer me in the right direction –– they will always be there for me.

But, my family doesn’t completely understand my relationships or know my boyfriends as well as I do.

Ultimately, only I know what is best for myself. If what I think is best is dating someone even though my family is less than fond of him, then I will do it. It’s my heart!

Eugene is right in thinking I would say this –– a loving relationship will prevail as long as it’s healthy.

I guess that whenever a relationship doesn’t work out, my family is there for me then too. Even if it is just to say “I told you so.”

Basically, I will listen to my family, but might listen to myself first.
Women, you should listen to yourselves first, and sometimes it’s best to take chances and listen to your gut feelings.

As they say: “live and learn.” I’m not sure who “they” are in this quote, but it’s an applicable life mantra.

Fortunately, I haven’t had to deal with too many “family vs. boyfriend” issues. As far as I know, I’ve never had any significant instances of family hatred toward anyone in my life.

There are exceptions to not listening to yourself first, however. Even in these instances I will consider my parent’s advice (dad, I know you’re reading this, so you can feel reassured).

Another thing, women, have you ever learned only after you broke up with someone that your family despised their very soul? Maybe, like Eugene said, you’ve been too blind with love (or maybe lust) that you’re family wasn’t even comfortable bringing up the issue of their feelings.

Women, still be open to suggestions, but in the end listen to your gut feelings and opinions first. A family will be with you for life, and if a relationship is really supposed to last, then they will get over any feelings that they have eventually.

Anna Baldwin is a senior journalism major, and Eugene Daniels is a junior journalism major. Mars vs. Venus appears Tuesdays in the Collegian. Letters and feedback can be sent to letters@collegian.com.

 Posted by at 3:15 pm

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