Mar 312011
 
Authors: Chadwick Bowman

As editor of The Rocky Mountain Collegian’s opinions and editorials, I can say that I agree with everything that has ever been written on my page.

I agree that Barack Obama is a “blowhard” and I agree that George W. Bush will be known as a great president. I believe that the future of America will be restored with President Obama and he will fix the problems this nation faces –– problems created by W.

I believe in no budget cuts and lower taxes to keep everyone happy and I believe in higher taxes and budget cuts to keep everyone humble. I think being young in America right now is comforting.

I believe Jesus will save this country and atheists need stronger representation in Congress.

I am an advocate for Texan and Hawaiian sovereignty, but for two very different reasons.

I think we should have a war between the town’s walking population, the town’s biking population and the town’s driving population. Those left standing can all get on long-boards, put on white sunglasses and skate into the sunset.

I think ASCSU does a good job and that they should do a better job. I like them all personally … I get the feeling they don’t like me personally.

My hippie elitist columnists and I will fit in great with the left-leaning, liberal media, while my staunch, conservative constitutional columnists and I will work well under Rupert Murdoch.

I hate Old Town and think it’s out of control and overrun with young people. I hate the beer here –– that’s for sure.

I don’t listen to Lil’ Wayne and my hair is long and curly, and your girl wears it down her back like mine.

I do know that the Bill of Rights was adopted in 1791, but also know that when Thomas Jefferson emigrated from Canada he carried a gun.

I have to carry a gun for protection against gun advocates. Ironic?

Marijuana should be legal. Potheads should be illegal.

You know when you’re dating someone and everyone and their mother wants to hear about her? That’s how I feel about Sarah Palin. I feel like I’m dating Sarah Palin.

I don’t believe the people at the Collegian work hard. And I do believe that young people read.

Bernie Sanders and Bernie Madoff are my favorite Bernies –– one is a socialist and one is good at math.

After the last few weeks of watching the Nuggets win, I wish we had Carmelo back. And I think if there is no NFL next year and there is an NBA, the Nuggets should sign
Tim Tebow.

I think at the rate we are going right now, the only two nations in the Middle East that won’t have democratic ideals will be Iraq and Afghanistan.

I believe the free and open forum to express an opinion here is an unhealthy practice and bad for the discourse of our community.

Finally I think Fox News and MSNBC do a good job of reporting the news.

Editorial Editor Chadwick Bowman is a not a CSU student, but keeps his school i.d. and lies to the pretty girl at Chipotle to get a free drink. This column is not serious and any letters to the editor will be taken even less-seriously –– so don’t write me. Letters and feedback can be sent to leavemealone@collegian.com.

 Posted by at 3:24 pm

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