Midterms are more evil than Gadhafi, the Collegianâ€™s tremendously narcissistic Editor-in-Chief Madeline Novey, painful losses by the CSU menâ€™s basketball team and Charlie Sheen â€¦ COMBINED.
There. We said it.
Their impact on the Collegian Editorial Board has been detrimental: in between gouging out our eyes, developing severe addictions to five-hour energy drinks (which we officially endorse) and actually, heaven forbid, studying, our lives have been blown into immense turmoil that can only be compared to the slew of revolutions in the Middle East.
But thereâ€™s hope on the horizon, and this hope is a weeklong period that society has lovingly deemed â€œspring break.â€
This term is not to be confused with what happens when a morbidly obese person jumps on a trampoline (think about it), but instead consists of an entire week when we can recover from the innate stresses of college life.
Although CSU President and the Collegianâ€™s reigning â€œSexiest CSU Man of Powerâ€ Tony Frank claims we should be safe during this period, as students we all know that this isnâ€™t going to happen.
After all, for those of us who are being forced to spend the week with our parents, heavy drinking is the only thing that can sustain our existence.
But, in all seriousness, this is a time for the student body to rejuvenate and ramp up for the final weeks of the year. No matter how you spend break, be it working, partying, spending time with friends or â€œstudyingâ€ (weâ€™re looking at you, non-liberal arts majors), remember to relax.
And in the event of an emergency, dial 911.