RamTalk

*What does it take to have school canceled? Overnight blizzards, hypothermic temperatures and FBI threats don’t do the trick. We need to let an elephant lose on campus.

*When I hear my roommate say, “I want to spread my wings and fly” and his girlfriend responds with, “But you’re not a peacock,” I know he’s too far gone to save now.

*I’m pretty sure Tony Frank thinks he’s the headmaster of Hogwarts and we can all just apparate to class.

*My water bottle exploded all over me this morning, but I don’t know what is worse, looking like I just peed my pants or having my crotch turn into an icicle when I walk outside.

*To the kid riding the longboard: Some people are only meant to walk.

*Shrooms would make philosophy so much more enjoyable.

*Is it still considered morning wood if you wake up after 1 p.m.?