*What does it take to have school canceled? Overnight blizzards, hypothermic temperatures and FBI threats donâ€™t do the trick. We need to let an elephant lose on campus.
*When I hear my roommate say, â€œI want to spread my wings and flyâ€ and his girlfriend responds with, â€œBut youâ€™re not a peacock,â€ I know heâ€™s too far gone to save now.
*Iâ€™m pretty sure Tony Frank thinks heâ€™s the headmaster of Hogwarts and we can all just apparate to class.
*My water bottle exploded all over me this morning, but I donâ€™t know what is worse, looking like I just peed my pants or having my crotch turn into an icicle when I walk outside.
*To the kid riding the longboard: Some people are only meant to walk.
*Shrooms would make philosophy so much more enjoyable.
*Is it still considered morning wood if you wake up after 1 p.m.?