Dec 062010
 
Authors:

By Anna Daniels

Cheating, bluntly said by my good friend Jordan, is anything you wouldn’t do in front of your partner.

Like texting an old boyfriend things other than, “I’m sincerely sorry about all the things you left at my house.”

Anything that you feel you have to hide is cheating. And there are different types of cheating, including emotional, physical and mental.

I don’t need to tell you this, but technically thinking about someone else other than your significant other is cheating.

Fortunately, thoughts like, “Wow, that guy is ridiculously good looking” are mostly unharmful, though. And it’s also normal and fun.

Mental thoughts a little bit more involved about someone else, however, is not approp.

This could put fantasies in your head. Then, sometimes fantasies become too hard to resist, and the fantasy is made into a reality. This could be cheating.

These thoughts should always be off-limits, especially if they involve someone’s significant other.

Another definition of cheating is anything that breaks the rules. A good suggestion is to discuss practical rules with your guy and then abide by these.

I have great suggestions for rules to keep a relationship healthy and lasting. Let’s do a breakdown.

1. Don’t even think about cheating, or else.

2. Cheating includes anything I do not approve of.

3. Cheating includes intimate texting, touching, e-mailing, Facebook chatting, talking to, looking at or fanticizing about another person.

4. If you feel guilty about something or if you have the feeling that you wouldn’t share something with me, then it’s probably cheating, or at least on the border of cheating.
If you think it’s weird or uncomfortable to make, or at least discuss, what you and your guy are comfortable with as far as what constitutes cheating, then you probably should not be in that relationship.

To keep yourself in check, ask whether or not something you’re doing or saying is something you would do in front of your partner.

By Eugene Daniels

So it’s my final column of the semester … kind of sad right? Nope, because that means holiday break is here, and I know everyone is sick of school. For the last column, Anna and I thought it would be a good idea to cover cheating.

So we searched for a good topic, and what’s a better topic. or more heavy topic, than cheating?
Now some of you may think this is something clear-cut and everyone should know it, but the truth is it’s not. And as I talked to some friends and associates about it, I realized how the topic really is complicated.

Some guys said things you would expect, like, “If you are doing anything with someone else that you aren’t in a relationship with you’re cheating,” or “Anything from kissing to sex is cheating.”

But some of the more colorful characters I spoke with said things like, “Only sex is cheating.” My favorite: “Well, I can basically do whatever, but my girl can’t do anything or that’s cheating.” My research was very entertaining.

But no matter what they thought, there was one theme that every guy touched on: communication. And I completely agree. You must understand what type of relationship you’re in.

If you are in a “friends with benefits” type of relationship, there isn’t much loyalty to the other person. But if you are in a full-fledged “we are boyfriend and girlfriend” relationship, then the loyalty and trust should be there. And we all know that isn’t always the case.

Once it is understood what type of relationship you have then you can decide what is cheating.

However, do realize that once initiated, cheating never stops.

And I hate to generalize like this, but the saying “Once a cheater always a cheater” is actually true. I know, I will probably get some hate mail for that statement. But hey, the truth is the truth, and the truth will set me free and all that other stuff.

If you are in what I like to call a real relationship, even texting the opposite sex too much is dangerous waters. Unless the person has been in your life for years before the relationship, you might want to watch how much the two of you are communicating.

And everyone knows that kissing is cheating. It doesn’t matter who with or for how long or whether there was tongue or not. If you are in a relationship and kissed someone else, you’re a damn cheater! Go on ahead and put on the scarlet letter, you harlot!

If you find yourself doing something in a relationship to the other person that you wouldn’t want them to do to you, then you should probably stop doing it because you are probably cheating.

But if you don’t care that you’re cheating, then you need more help than I can provide, so go see Oprah or Dr. Phil or maybe Tiger. They may have some solutions for you.

Anna Baldwin is a senior journalism major, and Eugene Daniels is a junior journalism major. “Venus Vs. Mars” appears Tuesdays in the Collegian. Letters and feedback can be sent to letters@collegian.com.

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