To all of you with patchy, stringy fuzz on your lips and mangy stubble on your chins, today, Dec. 1, is a day that should put a little more pride in your heart than your clean-shaven fellows. For today, weâ€™re excited to say, all of those participating in No Shave November can finally rid themselves of that thing on their faces.
And to all of you who didnâ€™t touch a razor to your skin, rocked a â€˜stache or merely shaved your neck beards, we salute you.
Many of the members of our editorial staff feel your pain. And while we recognize that there are many other goings-on in the world that we could share our views on, we wanted to take just one day to congratulate those of you who endured the joys and pains of a beardy face (or hairier limbs) for the past 30 days.
This is to those of you who spent a week with stubble, desperately trying to convince others that you were, in fact, neglecting to shave for a cause and not out of laziness;
To those who spent a week more or less molting out of your skin, trying not to scratch your faces raw as you acclimated to the extra fur on your face;
To those who embraced the â€œgolden periodâ€ where your facade becomes acceptable to society and youâ€™re left dreading the day it suddenly becomes unacceptable;
And to those of you who transcended that period, dealing with strangers throwing change at you, mistaking you for a hobo, and avoiding social events where friends and loved ones might ostracize you for your new â€œpedophileâ€ look;
Youâ€™ve made it through hell and weâ€™re proud of you. Now please, for everyoneâ€™s sake, find a barber or a mirror and get rid of your stubble before some rodent finds a new home on your face.