This weekâ€™s Never Have I Ever is slightly out of the ordinary.
We sought out the CSU cheerleading squad in hopes that we would be able to experience the effort it took to become the most popular person on the sidelines at football games. The one with the slickest dance moves, responsible for getting the crowd riled up and jumping.
No, weâ€™re not talking about Sonny Lubick. Weâ€™re talking about Cam the Ram, the musclebound, angry-faced, man/woman in a ram costume. We have never been a mascot.
Weâ€™ve been daydreaming about this for the past two weeks. I, Kate, wanted to maybe jump-start a potential cheering career, learn some awesome drills and undoubtedly give out countless high fives amid a sea of green and gold on the bleachers.
Nic wanted to be worked to the point of euphoria and vomit, wanted to do the Charleston whilst hugging/kissing the heads of babies like a presidential candidate (we all have dreams).
Turns out, this wasnâ€™t going to happen.
The fact of the matter is, Cam the Ram is a mystery, a severely guarded secret that wasnâ€™t about to be revealed to a couple of goons who do things for the sake of humor.
Still, we were intrigued.
What was Cam like as a person? Did he drink Aquafina or stick with Seltzer? Did he see the â€œDa Vinci Code?â€ Did he love it?
â€œBased on his facial expression, he seems like heâ€™d be a pretty angry guy,â€ said Alex Adams, sophomore zoology major and information desk employee.
However, Adams argues that, judging by the hugs Cam doles out at the games, this just canâ€™t be true.
Luckily, we were able to talk with two individuals who referred to themselves as â€œCamâ€™s Entourage.â€ They requested they remain anonymous to further protect the Ramâ€™s identity.
â€œYou never know where heâ€™s going to show up,â€ Entourage No. 1 said, â€œBut when he does come, you know heâ€™s there.â€
True, he does seem to make his rounds. The two individuals explained to us that Cam has a love for all sports, including but not limited to: volleyball, soccer, water polo, cross country, boxing, UFC, etc.
With his busy schedule, Cam still manages to make an appearance at most CSU sporting events. So why the hush-hush private life, then?
â€œYou donâ€™t want Cam to be too well known,â€ Entourage No. 2 said. â€œHeâ€™s very elusive. Nobody knows who he is, really.â€
On our way out of a seemingly unsuccessful mission, we spotted Cam in the gym at Moby arena. There he was: bulging ram muscles, football jersey pressed, his ram horns at attention on the sides of his furry golden crown. Silent as always, he bounded towards us and we welcomed him with outward-spread arms.
Cam then proceeded to lead us in some of his signature moves: the fist-pound, the chest pound, a couple of one-two steps. Next to this wild mountain creature we seemed small and ordinary, yet still became overwhelmed with school spirit.
While we didnâ€™t fully achieve mascot-status, we started to realize that Cam really is an important asset to football games. As a university, weâ€™ve won some championships. Weâ€™ve also lost some. But despite everything, sports fans at CSU have remained loyal.
â€œCSU has a great amount of school spirit,â€ he said. â€œWin or lose weâ€™re still there.â€
The idea of having a mascot may seem like a silly tradition. But maybe, itâ€™s important that we do have a ram to call our own.
Columnists Kate Bennis and Nic Turiciano can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.