- The Humans vs. Zombies game this weekend was better than the sex Iâ€™ve been getting. Iâ€™m still walking funny.
- To my professor who told me to tie down my boyfriend in order to study economics: I plan to ace this test.
- Dear Halo: Reach,
My girlfriend said I have to pick between you and her. See you tonight.
- Is it bad that my favorite part of college was also my favorite part of kindergarden: Naps, snack time and boy-girl sleepovers?
- To the girl in the library picking her nose and eating it: I have some paste if you want to eat that too.
- To the boy complaining to the kid that got into the VW Bug with four girls: Iâ€™m sure his â€˜Manâ€™ was up.