Apr 282010
Authors: Sarah Millard

Scanning the headlines of newspapers proves to be a tedious, daily task. Bolded letters proclaim words like “financial” and “reform.” When conversations and discussions turn to economics, my eyes glaze over, and I start mentally preparing my weekend plans.

I realize I should have a greater understanding and appreciation for the art of allocating money, but I can’t help but zone out as soon as numbers enter the equation (no pun intended). This is why the financial reform bill has left me worthless in terms of decent controversy and dialogue.

But the one topic I never get tired of talking about, and who, thankfully, never disappoints me, is Sarah Palin.

As much as I outwardly express my distaste for her, in reality, she is my favorite person in the world. I can always count on Palin to provide me with some example of why she is not intellectually fit to not only lead a nation but stand on a podium and give a speech.

When I write this, I envision the criticisms in my head: “How can you say she’s not intellectual enough when you don’t have a clue about economics? And don’t Democrats say stupid things, too?”

Well, faceless critics, the answer is simple. I am not a public official, nor am I advocating for some sort of overhaul of the system. When it comes to the financial reform bill (and practically all matters of money), I prefer to not get involved. All I comprehend is that people lie, mistakes are made and correction is vital.

If this bill will do that, great. If not, well then try again. I am not making a stand or supporting one side or the other on this issue; I am just merely taking this time off of political interest to catch up on episodes of “Hoarders.”

And in response to ridiculous comments Democrats make, I will be the first to admit I love when Joe Biden says silly things on camera and when President Barack Obama compares his bowling skills to that of a Special Olympian.

However, none of these compare to how much I adore hearing Palin speak.

When Obama signed a new nuclear arms treaty with Russia, Palin used it as a major talking point. She claimed the president was making the U.S. weaker (probably because he hates America.) But, she did not include that her beloved Ronald Reagan started the talks of nuclear arms reduction back in the 1980’s and even admitted that he wants a nuclear arms free world.

When fellow conservative Glenn Beck asked who her favorite founding father was, she provided her typical, “all of them” answer (for those wondering, Ben Franklin is mine).

And honestly, who can forget classic Palin moments like the condemning of Rahm Emmanuel for using the world “retarded” but dismissing Rush Limbaugh’s use as satire? And how about the entire Katie Couric interview?

This is incredible to me. While she makes statements with no academic standing, I dance a little inside. My opposition to the Tea Party goes out the door, and I yearn for her to step back into the spotlight to provide me with another quote to make me cringe.

While I honestly do not believe that Palin is very intelligent in a “book smart” sense, I can’t deny that she is incredibly street-smart in terms of how she markets herself and her views.

She’s your next-door neighbor, making sun tea while ranting about the liberal elites. She has turned the conservative movement from one composed of older, white gentlemen into one centered on a woman who attended six universities before receiving her bachelor’s.

The same people who blast liberals for worshiping the Obama Messiah turn right around and eat out of the Palin palm. In Oregon, people paid $250 a ticket to go see her speak, to hear her accent and see the clothes that their money is helping to purchase. She is a political rock star; conservatives love her and liberals love to hate her.

I’m sure outside of the political realm, Palin is a lovely woman. I would go on a picnic with her or perhaps a country concert. But whenever she steps on that stage, I can’t help but feel giddy inside at the thought of what ridiculous anecdote she’ll give next.

Sarah Millard is a junior political science major. Her column appears Thursdays in the Collegian. Letters and feedback can be sent to letters@collegian.com.

 Posted by at 4:28 pm

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