When an obvious opportunity to criticize a politician at the national level arises, typically I knock over three nuns, a pregnant woman and a Ming vase to make sure I get in my shots.
Today, however, is a new day. I feel confident saying President Barack Obamaâ€™s speech was an epic turd, and I mean that in the most sincere and literal sense.
But instead of breaking down his State of the Union address like the Zapruder film, I feel compelled instead to point to some problematic developments overseas.
As the president mentioned, Iran has failed to comply with the disjointed, feeble and incompetent pressure applied by the so-called international community.
While Iran presses forward with its plan to develop and maintain a nuclear weapon, the president prattles on about how he inherited a toilet a year ago that was backed up for the previous eight. A toilet, he added, covered in gold in the year 2000 before his evil predecessor took office.
Now, while the role of president typically includes serving as the voice of NATO, this president regularly proves how far his stock has dropped since his campaign for president ended.
He campaigned for Chicago to get the Olympic games and failed. He campaigned for the Democratic Partyâ€™s candidates for three major elections and had similar results to John Elwayâ€™s first three Super Bowls.
Why is his failure to successfully campaign as a president so vital to the Iran situation? More importantly, why is it relevant to my column?
As Iran moves toward the day it can declare to the world it has a functioning nuclear weapon, Israel is standing in the shadow of that threat and gesturing to President Obama as if to say, â€œYou going to do something about this or should we?â€
The reality for Israel is very dark should Iran successfully produce a nuclear weapon. Lest you forget, Iran refuses to recognize Israelâ€™s right to exist and have made threats to wipe the Israelis from the Earth.
As this president fails to accomplish anything significant at home, Israel is hoping he will somehow muster the gumption to act as a leader for an international intervention to prevent Iran from fulfilling its goal of nuclear arms.
If Israeli leaders sense his incompetence and failed politics at home are solid indicators of how he will execute foreign policy, they are going to handle the problem on their own.
It is not much of a risk to say this could literally happen at any moment of any day. The Israelis will not petition the U.N., ask for weapons inspections, bluster or apologize.
They will most assuredly deploy their own nuclear weapons in a pre-emptive strike to ensure their own survival.
While the American public at large listened to the silky smooth voice of Uncle Barry telling them everything will be okay, the economy is stabilized and TARP worked, ask yourself what the country, much less the economy, is going to look like if a nuclear weapon is detonated in the Middle East.
Assume for the moment Israel successfully takes out all of Iranâ€™s suspected dozens of nuclear facilities with multiple nuclear attacks. Iran is still there, but badly hurt and angry.
Try not to assume things would go well for the U.S. if this happens. What do you expect happens to gas prices â€“â€“Â and as a corollary the prices of nearly every other consumer good â€“â€“ here when Iran shuts down the Strait of Hormuz or the Persian Gulf?
Thus far, his policy of sitting silently has not resulted in a nuclear war between Israel and Iran, in the words of Homeland Security Secretary â€“â€“ and world-class fool â€“â€“ Janet Napolitano, â€œthe system is working.â€
While I have reasonable doubts the president or international community should or will prevent this particular can of explosive worms from detonating; there exists no plan for a fuel crisis in America.
I have zero faith in this current helping of guano serving as elected leadership to handle anything correctly, but the proverbial defecation will hit the rotating oscillator in America if this results in a gas shortage.
This, fellow citizens, is why our system can only succeed if we elect leaders, while we instead have elected politicians. Rare is the individual who can do both, and we currently have a shortage.
Seth Stern is a senior journalism and sociology major. His column appears Fridays in the Collegian. Letters and feedback can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org.