Last month, our parents started nagging us (OK, continued, but started on a new topic). “We need your Christmas wish-list. Like, before Christmas.”
After much foot-dragging, we were both finally able to get our lists together. It was surprisingly difficult; it seems the older we get, the fewer things we rely on Père Noël to slip us under the holiday foliage.
If you are finding yourself in this situation, we have compiled for your use the Binary Boys Hot Tech Gifts of 2009*. (*List is not all inclusive of hot gifts. No gifts actually arrive “hot.” No sales figures are used. The list is purely our opinion.)
1. Hexolights from Rockgear (starting at $30) — Nothing is fun until you take it too far. At least that’s the philosophy behind these lights. These are affordable, colorful ‘stage’ lights for use with Rock Band, Guitar Hero or just your stereo.
Just set them up on your wall and your place looks like the stage at a huge gig (if you have enough of them). They pulse to the beat of the music and generally just look badass. Google the company for videos.
2. Demotivators Calendars from Despair Inc. ($17) — As college students, getting motivated can be hard. Luckily, a few years ago, some overzealous mid-management types got together and came up with some great motivational sayings and pasted them on some beautiful pictures, and suddenly, productivity soared.
These calendars are just the opposite of that. Sporting witty phrases like, “Service. View all customers as beautiful buds that must be cultivated, watered and periodically buried under manure” while making note of depressing dates in history, “June 11, 1948: Albert, the first monkey astronaut launched into space. Sadly he suffocates in flight.”
3. Cooper Cooler Beverage Chiller ($60) — Let us draw a picture for you: It’s 1:30 in the morning on a Wednesday, you just picked up a copy of the much-anticipated Halo “Reach” and you and your buddies are beating it tonight. You won’t make it through without an energy drink of your choosing, so you run to the fridge while everyone waits in the pre-game lobby. To your horror, you quickly realize that your roommate has removed your drink to make room for a freaking eggplant, and now your tasty drink is grossly warm.
Well, with the Cooper Cooler your problems would be over as quickly as they started, as it can cool a canned or bottled beverage of your choice (pop, beer, wine) in as quickly as a minute.
4. Tauntaun Sleeping Bag ($99) — Echo Base, this is Rogue 2. I’ve found them, repeat, I’ve found them! Now you can survive a night on Hoth inside a Tauntaun too.
Last April Fools, ThinkGeek.com sent out its annual joke product sales ad, featuring this sleeping bag. Customers clamored for it, so they spent a lot of time negotiating the rights with George Lucas and friends. And now it exists.
5. Swine Flu Plush Microbe ($8) — You know that awesome set of diseases you can buy in plush forms for your friends? (we gave a Collegian editor Herpes once). Well, now they’ve added swine flu to the inventory.
These cute plush guys are much-greater-than-life-size characters, which resemble what the microbe actually looks like under a microscope.
6. Nerf Vulcan ($34) — You will need this for next semester’s game of Humans versus Zombies at CSU. Maybe you got zombified last week due to a lack of firepower. Well this belt-fed Nerf machine gun will help you out when the spring infection comes along.
7. Microsoft “Surface” ($10,000) — Note that this cost covers the hardware only, not the custom operating system, which will run you a lot more.
This is basically a coffee table developed by Microsoft, which happens to have a multi-touch surface. It syncs with wireless devices, including phones and cameras, seamlessly, letting you physically drag things such as photos on and off these devices with a flick of your finger.
Microsoft developed this thing working with one of the technical advisors from the movie “Minority Report” — just let your imagination run with this one.
Tech columnists Ryan Gibbons and Glen Pfeiffer can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.