May 102009

Thanks, CSU, for being “green.” You give bikers the finger by giving us no sheltered bike racks while you build parking structures where cars will stay dry. How encouraging!

Finish the jingle: “The best, part, of waking up, is … ”

To the owner of the kids playing hide and seek in the basement of the library: It’s not a playground. Get a baby sitter.

To the person giving props to the guy who put the champagne bottle in the lost and found … yeah. That was my Geology teacher … he’s weird …

To my roommate upstairs: If you don’t have the money for a can of WD-40, I will gladly pay for it in exchange for a good night’s sleep. Squeak, squeak, squeak.

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lighting, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

Being highly reliant on drinking Red Bull during finals week has turned my urine the color of Shrek’s.

To the couple making out at the light at College Ave.: A green light means proceed to the nearest dorm room.

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