Well, readers, it seems that the end of the semester is finally upon us, and, for me, that means my time here at CSU is nearly over. Frankly, I can’t believe how fast it’s come.
Since this is my last week writing this column I figured that instead of giving a few words of advice to those of you staying behind (would you really take my advice if I gave it anyway?) I would instead spend this time saying all the things that I’ve wanted to say but haven’t gotten the chance. So, without further adieu, here it goes.
To all of you who lived in my hall freshman year: I’m sorry I never got the chance to really get to know many of you. In retrospect I spent a little too much time hanging out in my room, and not nearly enough time going out with all of you.
Quick side note: “Lucas and Chase,” you got me hooked on Lost, and for that I am forever in your debt.
To all my Navigator friends, and especially Scott Bagley: You helped me in so many ways. I am not sure what I would have done without you freshman and sophomore year, so thank you.
To Professor Straayer: You were by far my favorite, and I learned a ton at the internship. I just wish we agreed more; I hate getting destroyed by your far-superior arguments .
To Professor Saunders: OK, you were a close second. But, honestly, getting beat by Straayer really isn’t that bad. Your capstone was by far the most interesting and intellectually challenging class I have ever taken. And yes I am totally looking for brownie points here.
To Sonny Lubick: Shaking your hand was possibly one of the greatest days of my life.
To Cam the Ram: You are truly the pinnacle of manhood.
To Sean Reed: Thank you for letting me write whatever the heck I wanted and printing it even when it came in late (as this undoubtedly will). And sorry for missing the meetings — it’s nothing personal, I just have the memory of an 80-year-old with Alzheimer’s.
To Dave McSwane: I don’t think I ever agreed with a single thing you had to say. But I read your column every single week anyway and thoroughly enjoyed it. What happened to the engineering jokes second semester? They were freaking hilarious.
To the CSU Marching Band Trumpet Line: Keep putting out!
To Molly Southern: I had the biggest crush on you sophomore year. Just thought you should know.
To CSU parking services: You should be thanking me for all those steak dinners I must have paid for over the years. Seriously, though, did you have a camera on my car every time it came within a mile of campus? I know you are just doing your jobs, but I have to say it — I absolutely despise all of you.
To my current and past roommates: William, you taught me that it is possible to share a living space with just about anyone. Matt, we’ve had quite the good times (even fairly recently). Colin, I hate how good you are at board games. My goal in life is to beat you in Scrabble just once. Tyrone, I’ve been taping you for years. I would suggest not running for public office.
To my family: A thank you will never be enough. You all are the reason that I am the person I am today.
To Claire: Thank you for being there for me throughout this year. What can I say? I’m a lucky guy to have you.
And finally, I want to thank CSU and the Fort Collins community for taking me in, teaching me and giving me memories that will last the rest of my life.
Caleb Thornton is a senior political science major. He will be missed. Letters and feedback can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org.