To the vehicles trying to drive through the mobs of people between classes everyday: When will you realize you have 50 minutes of each hour to do that?
To the person asking about tennis players: In tennis, love does mean nothing. So in response to your question, yes I don’t want love, I want to score.
Maybe the police could put their Tasers to good use and rid us of our squirrel problem.
To anyone using a crosswalk to get to campus: I’m sorry to say, but no matter how many times you press the button, the light will not change any faster. Sorry.
To the guy who fell skateboarding through the plaza: You probably should have dismounted 40 feet ago.
To whoever played a Miley Cyrus song at the party on Saturday night … I think you forgot that this is college … and not middle school …