Ram Talk

-Not only are boobs recession proof, but they definitely give my own personal stimulus package.

-So for the past two months my horoscope says that love is in the air. So when is it coming down?

-Looking for: A boy to please our roommate. No long-term commitment. Experience preferred.

-Hey Collegian, I think I found the joke you were talking about. You are talking about the football team, right? What do I win?

-To the kid in my stats class watching porn on his iPhone: Bravo, sir. Bravo.

-Hold the phone … my email isn’t forwarding from my simla account?! When was someone going to tell me this?

-Honestly, what’s worse, campus longboarders or walking texters?

-If at first in college you don’t succeed, B.S. and B.S. some more.

-To the girl I came up behind and pretended to steal your purse as a joke because I thought I knew you …Well I didn’t. Again, I am sorry.

-This year’s student body: Can we please not split our votes so our least favorite candidates win? Thanks.