How many men does it take to open a beer? None, it should be open when she brings it to you.
Word of advice: When partying in Denver, don’t call RamRide. They won’t come get you!
To the (noun) who (verb) in my (college class) you should (hilarious joke).
To the guys at Cam’s Convenience Store: Maybe if you spent a little less time failing to impress the ladies and a little more time ringing people up we all might get to class on time.
Just because Facebook allows you to write what you want in your status doesn’t mean that you can pretend that you are a philosopher.
Does anybody else wonder how comfortable it would be if The North Face made bed sets with comforters.
To the guy having sex in the apartment above mine: Though this ‘flavor of the week’ is obnoxiously loud, I take comfort in knowing that you can’t last too long … so neither will she.
To anyone on the path from Corbett to the LSC who saw my butt when my dress was tucked into my backpack: I usually wear underwear, ok?!
I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.