– Next time we throw a party, we’re just gonna invite the cops in advance, because they’re coming anyway.
– I don’t know about anyone else living in the dorms, but I find the sink in the utility closet extremely handy when I am too stoned to remember the code for the bathroom.
– Collegian — Did “signs of stability” escape your lips in reference to Iraq? Oh yeah, I forgot, the Messiah has fixed everything in 30 days. President Bush couldn’t have possibly had anything to do with that.You can’t be anti-war and pro-deployment.
– Thanks for the stimulus, Obama. Just put it on my tab.
– Dear Frat Guys: We’re kinda over you. Hashers are hotter anyways. Love, Sorority Girls
– Okay, so apparently I wanted that threesome for my birthday WAY more than i wanted a girlfriend.
– To the kid in Calculus taking all his notes in highlighter: I would’ve given you a pencil, but it was far more entertaining just watching.
– To the segway cops I saw racing in the parking lot…I’m so glad that CSU bought you such a cool toy with my fees.
– Didn’t Obama PROMISE to bring our troops home?