Forget boys on Valentine’s Day, I’m celebrating the start of Rockies spring training!
Thank you college for replacing my body pillow with a girl.
With so many people going to college these days, who will the future liver donors?
Forget business majors, us Construction Management majors can build you ladies a cabin wherever you’d like .and I guarantee our LOGS are bigger.
To the girl watching porn in the library, I think I’m in love with you.
Does anyone else get up in the morning, grab a paper on your way to your 9 o’clock, read the horoscope, and then by 9 that night think “Five stars my a**!”? … we should start a club.
To the girl in my history class, it is NOT ok to floss your teeth with a hair you found on your shoulder!
Dear PETA, it doesn’t matter if you call it Fish, Sea Kitten, or Tuna in Ugg Boots … men are still gonna eat it.
To whoever invented drunk hookups and multiple-choice exams: Maybe getting lucky is for those who don’t know what they’re doing.