You know you should really attend class more when: The day you do go, another student walks in and upon seeing you, second guesses if it’s the right room or not.
Dear Fort Collins police, you are no longer welcome at our parties — you kill the vibe.
If drinking and driving is against the law, then why are there so many bottle opener key chains?
Dear roommate, seeing how you’re a construction management major, is there a way you could make the walls separating our rooms thicker so I don’t get woken up by
you doing someone at 4 a.m.?
You know it’s going to be a bad day when your vibrator runs out of batteries.
Since I’m pretty sure there isn’t a single person that keeps the sudoku to check the “yesterday’s answers” section, maybe that space should be used for something more useful … like a second sudoku.
Here’s an idea — how about next year we don’t spend $100,000 dollars on a homecoming concert that everyone complained about, and instead put that money toward another lot or parking garage at the library. That way I don’t spend 26 minutes circling the lot and wasting my precious adderall high.