To the sexy rebel who repelled off the library yesterday — even though you may be in jail for the time being, will you marry me?
To the same hot guy in my PHIL class … I have white sheets so you won’t have to worry about leaving a stain.
To the guy who hugged the skateboarder guy after the jerk bike guy swerved into him: not only did you make his day better; you gave me a little more faith in humanity.
To the roommates bickering over walking in on each other: Here is a definition that you seriously need to prevent further problems — Sexiled: The act of being exiled from your room when your roomie brings a friend back to “visit” … Oh, and maybe think of hanging a sombrero on the door handle, then everyone will be in the loop.
To the 250 people in my physiology class with all those clicking pens … how the hell do you concentrate when you make oh so beautiful music for everyone else?
To the guy whose underwear-clad roomates walked in on you and your girlfriend … you’re not much of a team player, TAG THEM IN.
When I got a ticket to the football game, you made me take a ticket for Lupe Fiasco too and said, “How can you not know who he is? OMG. You’re going.” … I’m not going.