Somebody better get Samuel L. Jackson on the line. We have snakes in our classrooms.
Wednesday afternoon, to the glee of the Collegian editorial staff, a 4-foot bull snake managed to saunter its way into Clark A101, much to the chagrin of terrified students.
The snake, probably frightened by the uproar of students fleeing the classroom, bit a female student before being captured by one of her classmates. He managed to trap the snake in a backpack, and smuggled the snake out so it wouldn’t be harmed by Facilities Management.
We just hope the unnamed student doesn’t judge our fine university too harshly for this.
Snake attacks, though entertaining to some, are not funny business for university officials. We are certain that somebody close to the president is probably having an aneurism over this event.
On top of the concern for the wellbeing of students, an event like this could also mean big money in lawsuits for the university.
Though obviously a freak accident, or at worse, a cruel prank, in a post-McDonald’s-coffee-incident America, the possibility for a civil suit for this attack is very real for CSU.
We can only hope that the student and her parents are good enough human beings to recognize the ridiculousness of the situation, and not to place the blame on CSU.
Because seriously, tuition is high enough already – just imagine if we had to pay for every freak animal bite, too.