I spent the weekend playing hostess to my nine- and 5-year-old cousins in the Fort, and seeing as how college has driven my social life to consist of parties, drinking, and otherwise socializing while people consume beverages unfit for minors, I was pressed for activities to entertain them and myself at the same time.
I was prepared with sidewalk chalk, a trip to the Loveland spray park and of course, my natural charm, but what I thought would be the key to my successful hospitality, seeing “Shrek the Third” at the Holiday Twin Drive-in in Fort Collins, turned out to be an all too convenient excuse for the youngest, Alex, to take terrible twos up a couple notches and remind me that boredom and kids is a recipe for disaster.
In case you haven’t seen one or two, here’s a quick run down of the cast of characters: Shrek is a sarcastic, foul, swamp-loving green ogre whose best pal is a jackass named donkey. He’s married to Fiona, a princess who also happens to be an ogre, (long story) and they sometimes kick it with a tabby cat, Puss in Boots.
True to form, Mike Myers brought the funny as the voice of Shrek. Whether he’s yelling at Donkey (Eddie Murphy) or trying to talk to teenage Artie (Justin Timberlake), the next in line for the throne, with a mismatch of slang that would put even your grandmother to shame, Myers comes through as the star.
The scenes with Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) were lacking in comedic value and slowed the film down in spots, but the few glimpses we get of Donkey and the dragon’s babies were enough to make up for it. Who knew fire-breathing donkeys would be so cute?
Speaking of cute, isn’t this movie supposed to be geared toward kids? Disney seemed to miss his elementary aged audience with the punch lines so often that I wondered if I was getting more out of this outing than the kids. Not that I don’t appreciate a good one liner, but for its purpose, it wasn’t very well received.
As for a Shrek Quatro, I don’t see it happening. The clever mix of adult and child humor has run its course in Far Far Away. But, thankfully, Pirates of the Caribbean was on next and I got my weekly dose of Depp while Kane and Alex slept on tummies full of popcorn and “yummy yums.” – that’s M&Ms in case you don’t speak pre-school.
Shrek the Third is currently playing at the Holiday Twin Drive-In, 2206 South Overland Trail.
Staff writer Marissa Hutton-Gavel can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.