I’ve never been on a “real” date before. I’m not talking about dinner and a movie with the boyfriend. I’m talking about a real date; the kind where you meet someone, he gets your number, calls you up, and then shows up at your door one Friday night with flowers and that terrified look that he’s going to have to meet your parents before he even gets to know you.
You go to dinner and for some reason, deciding what to order is a major ordeal.
You can’t order anything too expensive or he’ll think you’re in it for the money – a huge combo plate is out of the question, ’cause come on, you’re not a fatty (at least on the first date) and a salad’s not right ’cause let’s face it, you’re just not “that” girl.
The point is, dating, although awful at times, is something I feel like I’ve missed out on; something I think a lot of girls my age miss out on, and I don’t think it’s really our fault.
Dating doesn’t really exist anymore, at least not in Fort Collins. And why should it? It’s nothing like it was when our parents were our age. In a college town, the typical way to meet a guy is at a party.
Eventually, you get drunk and end up “hooking up” and that’s how it all begins. You see him at a few more parties, and after a while, you’re an official Facebook item. Of course, this isn’t always the case, but I feel it’s very typical for this particular college campus.
Guys don’t have to go out of their way for girls anymore. There’s no swooning, no romance, and no “real” dates. We may never be able to get it back to way it was in the good old days, but maybe there are some small things that could be changed, you know, on the guy’s end, at least.
To get the message out there that girls are no longer settling for that low-par nonsense you guys call dating, I’ve created a sort of “what not to do list” to help you out:
Number one: girls are about the chase. Even if they say they aren’t, they are. You don’t have to be with her every second of every day, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want to. Don’t call her a million times when she doesn’t answer. She’s busy. She’ll answer when she can.
This doesn’t mean ignore her. Call her. Call her to tell what’s going on in your life, actually act interested in what’s going on in hers, and most importantly, call her when you miss her and let her know you do. This is crucial. We like to know when you’re thinking of us.
Number two: when a girl says she’s fine. She’s not fine. Enough said.
Number three: Don’t cheat. Don’t make her feel like any other girl in the world is better than her or more important to you. Don’t change her.
If you fell for her in the first place, there had to be something amazing about her, right? If you feel like you don’t remember it anymore, find it. If it was there in the first place, it’s still there. Maybe it’s your fault you lost it.
Most importantly, number four: for those of you who are lucky enough to already have that girl, don’t take her for granted. Just because you’ve been together for a while and you may know she’s not going anywhere, that’s no reason to stop trying. Do nice things for her.
Make her feel special. Go out of your way to see her. You may think you’re in that great part of the relationship where you can eat like a pig, stop shaving and showering, and fart in front of her, and she’ll still want you, but you’re wrong. That “great part,” that man fantasy, doesn’t exist.
So guys, next time you meet that special girl at a party, don’t just hook up with her. Take her out, sweep her off her feet, and if she really is that great, you’ll thank me in the long run.
Kaitlin Snook is a junior technical journalism major. Her column appears Fridays in the Collegian. Replies and feedback can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org.