Apr 172006
Authors: Megan Schulz

Due to my irrepressible love for celebrity gossip, I am once again forced to ridicule Tom Cruise. In my book, he is the crowned idiot of Hollywood. The fact that he has more money than I’ll ever see in my lifetime just adds insult to injury.

Rest assured Scientologists, I will not be mocking your religion this time around, although I still believe Scientology is a hoax.

I am not choosing to pick on Tom Cruise because I have a personal vendetta against him. I like his movies. I will go see Mission Impossible 3 because I expect to be entertained, even though he is postponing his wedding in order to promote the movie. Talk about mixed-up priorities.

I choose to ridicule him because he has voluntarily made himself look like a fool at every possible moment for the past year or so. I can only shake my head and laugh at some of the things that have come out of his mouth.

As a woman, one thing that bothers me about Cruise is his vehement opposition of using medicine to treat postpartum depression and other mental disorders. He condemned fellow actor Brooke Shields for using drugs to treat her own postpartum depression.

I am assuming that his denunciations of psychology stem from his Scientology background. But I’m not quite sure, and, as promised, I won’t criticize Scientology.

However, I find opposition to psychology, a relevant school of thought, ironic coming from a man who owns a sonogram, which he uses on his pregnant fianc/. Obviously, he’s not trained to do so, yet has the nerve to criticize trained professionals who counsel people.

Because both of his children from his previous marriage were adopted, I’m going to guess that Cruise has no personal experience with the syndrome. But an estimated 10 percent of pregnant women will experience postpartum depression, so it’s not a laughing matter. He is also physically incapable of giving birth, so he could never understand the emotions a woman experiences from giving birth.

In fact, Cruise said, “It’s gonna be a blast,” when describing the impending childbirth Katie Holmes will experience. He’s also already scheduled shifts so that his two children, 11 and 13 years old, can help take care of the baby.

As a millionaire, he can’t hire a trained nanny? He’s going to shove some of the responsibility on his children? I wouldn’t trust an 11-year-old to carry a watermelon, much less a newborn baby.

From what I’ve seen of celebrity parents thus far, I’m not impressed. Apart from their lack of ability to choose a suitable name (Who the hell names their kid Apple?), they’ve shown an overall lack of responsibility for raising children. Britney Spears is one who falls into this category.

Just imagine if she’d gotten into a car accident while driving with her baby on her lap. The sight of that poor child rocketing through the windshield makes me sick.

But back to Tom Cruise. Couch-jumping aside, his public statements have once again proven that we elevate celebrities to high statuses that few of them deserve. My advice to Katie Holmes is this: Run away as fast as you can.

Megan Schulz is a sophomore technical journalism major. Her column runs every Tuesday in the Collegian.

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