Little guy syndrome

Apr 042006
Authors: Ryan Chapman

Have you ever been at a house party or at a bar and one guy is causing trouble for everyone? You know the guy; he is about 5-foot-5-inches tall, 175 pounds, and he feels it necessary to try and fight every big guy he runs into. Whether he has self-esteem issues or is trying to impress a girl, this guy is always talking smack and most of the time getting himself hurt because of it.

Of course you do. We all know a guy like this and I bring it up today in light of the fact that Iran is once again threatening the Western world with its military might. Now some of you may be wondering how the two circumstances correlate, so let me explain further. You see, every time the world gets together for a party, one of the little guys (i.e. Iran or North Korea) has to ruin the good time by trying to get into a fight.

For example, on Sunday reported that Iran has completed successful tests on an underwater missile. Gen. Ali Fadavi, the deputy head of the Navy of the elite Revolutionary Guards, then claimed to state-run television that it is the fastest underwater missile in the world and that “…no warship can escape from the missile because of its high speed.” This was an obvious show of strength for the Iranians intended to intimidate their potential enemies.

The article went on to state that since the United States imposed weapons embargo of the 1980s Iran has developed tanks, armored personnel carriers, missiles and a fighter plane. That’s right, they have a fighter plane. Congratulations Iran, you are well on your way to world dominance.

Oh, but what about that nuclear program that Iran is so fond of flaunting to the world? Well, in reality, most experts believe under optimal conditions Iran is still ten years – yes, a whole decade – away from developing the technology they would need to create nuclear weapons. And “optimal conditions” certainly doesn’t include endless sanctions by the world community I’m sure.

But, like most of the little guys with bad attitudes, Iran brought one of their friends to the party: North Korea. Kim Jong-Il and his stepchild, the U.S.S.R communist nation, have been creating just as much of a stir recently with their admittance that they have already secretly developed a nuclear bomb.

North Korea though has already made veiled threats to the world and to the United States in particular, about their willingness to use their new weapon. CNN reported in February that as early as April of 2003 North Korea had admitted in private talks to having “at least one nuclear bomb.”

Never mind that they have no way of delivering that bomb into the United States or even getting it anywhere near U.S. assets. Even if they could transfer that nuclear technology into the form of a ballistic missile, the missile technology that North Korea currently employs could barely get the nuke out of Asia, according to a report by Joseph S. Bermudez Jr. of the Center for Non-Proliferation Studies.

Maybe Kim Jong-Il could borrow Iran’s fighter plane to carry its one nuclear bomb. Then maybe the two countries would present a legitimate threat.

Until that happens, however, I would suggest both little guys stop ruining the party for everyone else before one of the big guys hosting the party punches them in the mouth and throws them out in the street.

Ryan Chapman is a senior speech communication major. His column runs every Wednesday in the Collegian.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

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