Although I must say that a dinosaur class would be a lot of fun, I think CSU would benefit more from a mandatory class on how four-way stop signs work. Students seem to have a lot of trouble with them.
To the medical staff at Hartshorn Health Center: I wasn’t expecting Patch Adams, but would it kill you all to smile a little bit?
Perhaps left-hand rings aren’t so random. I’ve been wearing one on my ring finger for three years as a symbol of my commitment to stay sexually pure. It’s a reminder: I’m waiting for a guy willing to hand me a ring first. I’d love to explain this to “nice single guys.” Are you not secure enough to ask?
Rap battles should determine the winner of the student elections.
Do you think it would hurt his feelings if you ran up to a goose and yelled, “Ducks are Better!”?
To the confused woodpecker atop the light post near the Memorial Bridge: Your beak is not strong enough to drill through the metal light shade. Your best bet for finding food would most likely be a tree, but that’s just a guess.
Are people who wear USC clothing to class getting dressed in front of a mirror or dyslexic?
Do girls like guys with long hair? OR… Are they just jealous because my long, flowing, golden locks look better than theirs?
To the girl in my race and ethnic relations class: That wasn’t a shirt you wore, it was an over-shirt. You should wear it OVER another shirt. I don’t want to see your flesh and bra through your holey sweater. Come on, you are no Heidi Klum!