Mar 052006
Authors: Ryan Skeels

Whenever the topic of comic-book movie adaptations comes up in conversation, it is usually met with a combination of eye rolls, signs, under-the-breath cursing and endless arguments of how much of a wuss Tobey Maguire makes Spiderman out to be.

Kurt Wimmer, writer and director of the cult-classicish "Brave New World" and future flick "Equilibrium," penned and pointed this weekend's release "Ultraviolet."

Milla Jovovich is taking a short breather from her mission to rid mankind of cheesy zombie things and stars as Violet, one of the top-dog secret spy assassin-types in an underground rebellion on Earth in a sci-fi futuristic 21st century. She's part of a small subculture of humans called "hemophages" who have been genetically altered in a government science experiment gone wrong. They are sort of like vampires except not really bloodthirsty and have intensely increased speed, stamina and intelligence along with all sorts of neat gravity-altering toys.

More humans are turned into hemophages and the government will stop at nothing to destroy every last one. While on a mission to undermine an attack, Violet discovers the secret weapon she was sent to destroy is actually a laboratory-grown boy named Six. Unable to off the kid, she takes him from his carrying case and makes the survival of the child her number one priority.

The expected sighs of disappointment was all my senses could feel whenever the preview for this flashed on the screen the past few weeks, keeping the popularity level about par for a comic book flick with a woman as the superhero. It's true that women superheroes have gotten a bad wrap with "Elektra," "Lara Croft" and "Catwoman" really muddying up the waters for most.

This however, will not be adding itself to this list and has actually found itself in the more disappointing flicks of the year thus far.

Jovovich does a good job of being a badass and does some sweet tricks, but it's just not enough for a mindless action flick. They tried too much to create a relationship between Violet and Six, played by that creepy kid Cameron Blight again, and really just reminded me of the puke-summoning trailers for that flick "Birth'" where Nicole Kidman tries to get Blight into the sack.

Too much cheesy acting combined with the shallow plot made this hour and a half movie feel drawn out, which is never a good sign. Even if Jovovich makes your tummy feel funny and you really want to see her in a tight suit shooting guns, I'd suggest putting on your Timberlands and hanging out with Dave Chappelle for the evening; you'll feel a lot better about yourself in the morning.

2 out of 5 stars.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

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